Yummy ;)

NEW Real OFFICIAL VIDEO Paramore- Official REAL MUSIC Video for Decode

2008-11-03T22:31:00.001+08:00

NEW Real OFFICIAL VIDEO Paramore- Official REAL MUSIC Video for Decode

2008-11-03T22:30:00.001+08:00

Decode Official Video!

2008-11-03T22:28:00.001+08:00

OME OME OME OME OME!
OYJ OYJ OYJ OYJ OYJ!

Twilight's official soundtrack's official video!

Redirect

2008-08-31T17:01:00.002+08:00

Hello people!

I will no longer be using this page.

Please visit

www.trishateo.com

if you wish to continue reading my bullshit.
While you're at it, link me if you haven't yet and relink me if you have already.

Thank you.

:)

xox, trish

Independence!

2008-08-25T23:06:00.003+08:00

Hey!
So today was the start of the end of the 1 week we had free. So the boredom of the holidays messed with me a tad bit and my brain went into time out and I lulled my way through the week. I think I had brain spasms from the lack of brain activity causing horrible headaches.
I'm not fine now either.

Today was a pretty uneventful day in school. I had cramps that caused me to be all weak and pained. Classes were boring as heck.

In English, our assignment was to write a poem on Independence. Teva and I were in a group so we went to a table in the library. After a couple of minutes of nonsensical crapping and bongo ala table hitting, we got to work.

At first, we tried the whole, emotional expressive poem but the holiday and brain spasms caused us to be mentally retarded at the moment.

Finally we did it, so lo and behold. The poem we wrote in 20 minutes.

Independence
by Trisha Teo & Tevaneea.

Chicken curry laksa sambal tumis,
I finally get the chance to choose this,
Everytime I eat, my mother scolds me
All she wants me to eat are veggies and green peas.

Now the tables are turned,
I tell her what to eat in return.
Now that she's old and grey,
She has good food everyday.

Green curry, tom yam and fried fish,
Nasi lemak, lobsters, whatever I wish.
She likes it too, she cannot lie,
Anything I order, she always tries

After all these years of eating healthy,
I'm finally independant and wealthy.
Thus, I'm finally free to eat whatever I choose,
My mother agrees with my choices too.

Thank You
:)

Hahaha, okay. That's it!

Goodnight people!

xox, trish

Good Deeds ;)

2008-08-23T21:48:00.003+08:00

Today I went along with Amy and WeiYing to the Charity Bazaar.

The Form 3 boys and FuiJinn and Amanda came along too.

So we were volunteers. Supposed to help out anyone who needs help that day. We took orders from the big yellow lady.
She was a BIG MEAN YELLOW LADY.

She kept yelling at us, and she didn't know where to put us. By the time she finally put me somewhere, it was bloody weird.

I was supposed to do help with a stall so I went to ask the girl there what I was supposed to do.

"Er, hi, do you need any help?"
"..."
"Uhm, that lady told me help you out here?"
"..."
"Hello?"
"..."
"Do you SPEAK?!"
-glare-
"..oh shit, nevermind."

then I went to join Amelia and WeiYing at their stall since my boss refused to talk to me, so we were sitting there like a bunch of idiots. Soon enough, people actually started buying stuff so it wasn't so bad.

Ohkay, so as some of you would know, I have a MORBID fear of clowns. Since I was a wee little baby, I hated clowns. They're just ugly. It had nothing to do with the shows we watched or the stories people told about clowns. I hated them coz they looked scary.

So today, was horrible, partly because of the stupid clown. Yes clown.

This wasn't the clown today. This is just a random clown.
I didn't take a picture of today's clown coz I hate clowns. Clowns are fugly.

So this clown, wouldn't freaking leave me alone!

He kept following me and bugging me and flirting with me.

"I take this, I take this, I take this, I take this and since you're so cute and so nice, I don't need to pay."
"..."
"So how are you?"
"..."
"Want a balloon?"
"..."
"Can I see this? Can I? Can I?"
"..."
"Aiyah, dowan la, after break."
"..."
"You don't talk much.."
"..don't like clowns.."
"I'm not a full-time clown~"
"You're a clown now, I don't like clowns."
"So you don't like me?"
"..don't like clowns."
"awh.." -sad face-
"..."

xxx

zOMG, so bloody irritating that clown. With all that makeup and paint on his face, he still had the guts to flirt! I salute you, fugly.

Eventually he left me alone. Eventually, I went home.

But before that, I went to Central with my parents. Yes, parents, meaning BOTH of them :)

Imagine my surprise when I see Pn. Chen! Yes, Pn. Chen.

Haha, she remembers my name, class, bro and the clubs I joined and the things I've done. Hahaha. Yes, I so love that lil old lady down the road.

x)

So I'm done!

xox, trish

JammyJAMJAM

2008-08-23T00:14:00.002+08:00

Hey you!

You're prolly boarding soon, and yeah, I'm glad you called me. Makes me feel loved!
Haha, I'm sorry I've been distant, there's just been tons of stuff going on. But this isn't about me. I would like to remind you not to forget to eat and all that, ending up in the hospital, not a good idea.

Ah, you make me cry.

I'll miss you like HECK, although I don't see you often but knowing you're ages and ages away till there's a time difference, isn't much comfort.

I'm not a fan of goodbyes, but I'll talk to you ALL THE TIME as usual, you'll be my person when all my other persons aren't there, you'll be my person even when my persons are there. Oh I hope you'll be fine. Tell me if people bully you, I send cockroach to their house.

You'll cope, you always do. You survive and I'm proud of you for that.
You came a LONG way since we first met and I'm happy to have been a part of that change.

:'(

You're my best friend and I love you.
more than you realize.
Thank you for everything and have fun okay?

xox, trish

15 about ME.

2008-08-22T22:23:00.004+08:00

I will FINALLY do the tag I was asked to do so long ago.

The rules and regulations:

1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back!!

xxx

1. I forget to eat sometimes, I get so preoccupied I forget I'm hungry.
2. I have a habit of talking and not realizing I'm talking. Yeah, I talk to myself.
3. I swear for no reason. Yeah, pretty vulgar.
4. I'm obsessive compulsive. I feel the need to keep adjusting things.
5. I have a weird way of playing Solitaire.
6. My music, needs to be completely organized or I'll be very unhappy, no seriously, VERY.
7. My mood swings are unhealthy and scary. I can be fine one moment and pissed off the next.
8. I have a boob, butt, hand and tummy fetish. Yes, I have a lot of fetishes.
9. I hate it when people smear water on tables.
10. I overreact and exaggerate.

i.e : There's a roach on the wall and I run screaming into my parents/brothers room and talk about how it's the end of the world coz the roaches have come for revenge.

11. I'm allergic to irritating people/things. I actually get itchy when I'm irritated. HAHA.
12. I like beer. Haha, tons of my friends don't coz it tastes like liquid rice to them, but I like it.
13. I suddenly laugh when its too silent coz I don't like the silence.
14. I'm possessive. I like things mine and I won't go down without a fight.
15. I like nerdy looking boys. HAHAH. Yeah the glasses and the post braces look. Hee.

Want proof on statement 15? Hahaha, NO problem. PM me to find out!

I tag :- you x10

xox, trish

Stupid

2008-08-22T21:56:00.004+08:00

I killed a mosquito, now I have blood on my hands.
BLOOOD.

Who's blood? MINE.

MOO HAR HAR, you BITE me, I kill you!

HeeHEEHEE.

Dammit, I definitely need a life.

So guess what I did today,

I took a picture of a glass of milk. The wallpaper of my phone, is a glass of milk. I know what you're thinking, "Boy, Trish is SO coool! Taking pictures of milk." Hahaha, don't fret young ones, you can be cool like me too ;)

How you ask?

Okay okay, relax, stop screaming in desperation, I'll tell you!

Er, wait. My leg is numb.

..

..

..

Okay yeah, so how can you be cool like me?

Simple!

Go take a picture of your own glass of milk and use it as a wallpaper for your phone! Then tell me about it.

You'll get one of 2 reactions from me.

Reaction 1 : "OMG YOU'RE SO COOL! I'm so effing honoured to be in your presence OH GREAT ONE!"

Reaction 2 : "Fucker, why you copy me for? Takau arh?!"

xxx

Eh TIUUUU I'm so lame today >.<
This is like the MOST mou liu I've ever been. So disappointing.

xox, trish

Malaysia Bans Avril Lavigne

2008-08-21T19:12:00.002+08:00

Yeah, that's our country they're talking about alright.

You should see the comments on youtube left for us. Ahahaha, seriously.

But yeah, I have to agree with Ana Kasparian, how the heck is Avril Lavigne TOO sexy? Oh puhleese.

Then there's no jumping and shouting?

Wow, c'mon, lets all pay money to go sit and chant the Quran under our breaths. Our government would approve of that.

Okay then, ban Avril. Don't let her perform.
I'd be on a one-way ticket out of here in no time if I were you.

Excuse me, I'm pissy. Don't mind me.

xox, trish

Hee :)

2008-08-20T23:40:00.006+08:00

Ohkay, so Lee Chong Wei did not beat Lin Dan, who also happens to be the World's BEST Badminton Player.

It's okay. C'mon people, we're MALAYSIA.
We don't win much.
He put us on the map at least ;)
Yes, I'm proud of you Lee Chong Wei! Don't be upset, another 4 years of practice and you'll make it eyh?

I have faith, unlike SOME people. Hrmph.

Anyway, I saw Mr.HotBod, yeah. Remember Mr.HotBod?

I forgot his name, he had many nicknames.

There was Mr.HotBod (although there was really nothing special about his body) I wonder why I gave him that name.
Then there was WohSeung (I think that means monk) He was bald at one point, thats why.
Then there was ThatChineseBreakdancingGuy. Yeah, he was only good at a couple of moves but he was good nonetheless.

Ohkay, I don't remember the rest.

Oh, he's still pretty cute too :)

xxx

Gosh, everything has been SO boring.
Mosquitoes LOVE me. Yeah, I'm loved by those tiny lil bloodsuckers.

I watched 'The Air I Breathe'.
Oh that movie got me on the edge of the seat. So sad too.

Forest Whitaker, Brendan Fraser, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Kevin Bacon star.

Yes, some might say it wasn't a good movie, but I panik like shit lo.
It left me feeling a bit, sad tho.

Er, okay. Seriously I think I'll stop here.

xox, trish

Hero ;)

2008-08-16T22:57:00.002+08:00

This man gives us hope.

Good on you Lee Chong Wei! You're doing us proud.

Now go for gold :)

xox, trish

It's DavidA!

2008-08-16T12:10:00.005+08:00

Hee! x) I so love him.

xox, trish

Obsessive Compulsive much?

2008-08-15T20:48:00.004+08:00

I have a case of OCD.

Yes, it's proven by my brother who is a bachelor of Psychology. He has a degree to prove it!
Haha.
ANYWAY.

His bedsheets were all messy.

I yelled at him to get up and leave the room. Then I fixed his sheets, folded his clothes, reorganized his CD collection and I put everything in order, for him, my dear dear brother.

Now, I'm arranging his CD's in alphabetical order.

:D
I'm so nice, right?

Once I was in MPH with Daphy, Teva and SuetLing. Teva kept taking out birthday cards and forgetting where she got them. So she'd randomly stick it in any compartment.

I kept scolding her and taking it back out and hunting for the original place..which was NOT easy. They had to drag me away because I wouldn't leave until everything was organized.

I even went to Daph's house and tidied her wardrobe for her. I folded everything and put it back into place.

OH and just YESTERDAY. I came home and I was so exhausted.
I entered my room to find my bed in a mess.
SO I started smoothing out the creases and folding the quilts and all that.

My mom was calling me down for lunch, so I went down.

"What were you doing in your room for so long?"

I don't answer.

"She was folding her blankets because everything is SO MESSY."
Jeremy says.

"Didn't kakak do it?"
Yeah, we call my maid Kak. You should too if you ever come over.

"Yeah she did, but I went and messed it up."
And he grins his stupid gummy grin.

SO yeah, I am, obsessive compulsive.
So SUE me.

Did you knowww, when I play Solitaire, my cards have to be in this order :

SPADES, HEARTS, CLUBS, DIAMONDS.

Yeah, like that. And even when I'm stacking the cards up. It has to be in order. Like, I wont put the 2 of hearts if I haven't put the 2 of spades yet.
That's why I rarely win at Solitaire.
I also refuse to play the games that aren't in order, it'll bug me too much and I'd restart the whole thing.

I also hate spills on the table. I'd be SO tempted to wipe it clean.
Some of my friends put the food they don't want on the table, like Mamai for instance.

She didn't want the veggies so she put it on the table. I refused to look at it, I would've cleaned it up if I did.

I also don't understand how people can eat ice.

~_~

Seriously.

I'm getting auntier by the second.
HAHA.

OH! I also hate it when people pronounce things wrong and spell things wrong. They agitate me.

xox, trish

My Soundtrack

2008-08-15T18:30:00.004+08:00

What song makes you think about;

the last day of high school
- The Time Of Our Life by David Cook

that certain someone
- Crush by David Archuleta :)

your highschool buddies
- Low by T-Pain ft Flo Rider/Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy

your favourite holiday
- Christmas Wish by Stacie Orrico

your first date
- Brown Eyes by Destiny's Child

your first break up
- Going Crazy by Natalie [no, seriously, that song played ALL the time]

you realise u made the wrong decision about someone
- Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley

showering
- Born For this by Paramore

your family
- Don't Forget To Remember Me by Carrie Underwood

your most memorable experience with friends
- Footprints In The Sand - Leona Lewis

I tag :- everyone who's anyone who's with someone and all alone

xox, trish

Mine for a just day :(

2008-08-14T16:41:00.007+08:00

I had a dog, they called him Mocha.

Yeah, I know, such a gay ass name.
So we changed his name to NorNor.

NorNor veryyyyy cute, like beh-tahan-wanna-squish cute.

Then NorNor had to go because a certain obnoxious small boy refused to go to school if he didn't get NorNor. NorNor was sent away to please the likes of an obnoxious idiot.

So we kiss kiss NorNor bye bye.

And NorNor kiss kiss us bye bye.

And then NorNor emo-ed.

ByeBye NorNor.
I love you :(

xox, trish

Doomsday?

2008-08-13T19:18:00.004+08:00

A 17 year olds greatest nightmare.
There comes a time when panic runs deep and we fear for our lives. Yeah, I'm exaggerating.

Some people click and click and search for answers, some people type and type. Others wait.
The papers publish the names of those who are doomed.

Doomed to public baths
Disgusting food
Rolling around on the floor
Ugly uniforms
No contact with civilization
No phones, gundams, internet connection.
NOTHING but guns.

That one also cannot shoot everyday.

I can't do monkey bars to save my life, I'd prolly die.

Results are out tomorrow, 14th August, check your newspapers!

or,

type NS(leave a space)IC number
and send to 33995.

:)

Owh, if you're wondering,

I didn't get selected. YAY!
I would've died. Seriously.

xox, trish

Going back to yesterday

2008-08-10T00:25:00.008+08:00

Did I mention how gorgeous the Beijing Olympics 2008 Opening Ceremony was?

SO beautiful :)

xxx

People these days are so afraid to be chinese, so ashamed of recognizing their history and their ancestors who had resided in China. People are so afraid of being apart of the old ways. Everyone is moving forward towards the new ways, the technology, the lifestyles, the labels. They forget the old ways, they forget culture and history. Many years from now, people will revert back to the old ways. You can study the things of the past and even in 20 to 50 years, you can never go wrong with your knowledge.

History is there for a reason, not because we don't wanna be doomed to repeat it, or because we wanna seem smarter than the other person. History is there to remind us where we came from, that the world does not revolve around us. That the world still became something before we arrived.

It's not about the clubbing or the drinking or the best phones and the coolest computers or even the glamorous clothes. It's about knowing where you stand and realizing that even with all that, you're not very cool after all.

Lets go back, back to the beginning,
back to when the earth, the sun, the stars,
all aligned.

xox, trish

Yah LAR, I know I damn aunty.

Of BENS and Bullshit

2008-08-09T20:49:00.004+08:00

Ah, finally! Internet connection :)

So this week has been happening.

So I found a 'BEN-face'. Yeah it was pretty random of me.

Okay so he does it better.

xxx

Moving on, school. There was an interact meeting, Spell was teaching me how to dance. If you could call it dancing at that moment, I was just being flung around.

He kept yelling "New York!" and I had no idea how that worked.

Then that Sakai just HAD to embarrass me during the meeting. I also taught AmyJ to 'iYaHn~!' the invigilator.

Friday was fun, there was SuetLing's party and the unbreakable cake. ChorDaiDi with the guys. I poooned kao kao.

KimLoong DANCED! and FungTat too. Gosh it was hilarious.

xxx

But put aside all that, I know there are a couple of people who need to know whats been up with me, mainly JammyGANGANGAN.

In a nutshell, my week totally sucked.

My brother and I are going thru this silent warfare, where we don't talk and he hates me. Apparently, I'm dead to him.
My mom has endless love towards him so they both deemed me evil. Everything just changed as soon as my birthday ended.

I became retarded and stopped eating, barely slept and was practically a walking zombie. I kept quiet when people yelled at me and smiled when I was asked to. Pathetic really. Daphne and Teva just watched helplessly as I slowly attempted to murder myself. At some point they tried to get me to get a grip and just suck it up, but no, they failed. There were moments in class where I just started to cry like some idiot.

Then I was forced to walk home, in the rain. Like an idiot. It's a really stupid long story and I've told you about it already and all you told me was to get a grip and suck it up. I understand that I should get a grip and suck it up so I did.

I've gotten my grip and sucked it up.

I'm really sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed to talk to me. I was pretty much caught up in my own world, selfishly.

Sorry Jamms :(

xxx

Daph's phone got confiscated, she got it back already and I love PEANUT COW.

I'm gonna take a picture of him and post it up.

Ohh and all you readers who know that SAKAI, pleaseeee remind him, that Peanut Cow is wayyyyyyyyy cuter than Frog.

Frogs don't go QuackQuackQuack and Cows don't go BOOOOOOO.

~_~

xxx

Btw, Renesmee is a stupid name.

xxx

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows, it's a very mean and nasty place, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.

-Rocky Balboa-

I woke up today and told myself to protect my heart,
everyday I lose a little bit of my dignity because of the things I say or do or the way I act. I lose a little bit of my dignity because of all the bullshit I've heard or seen, because of the way people look at me.
But that's all gone now, I don't care about the way people look at me, I don't look at them very nicely either.

xox, trish

Happy 17th, you ;)

2008-08-03T16:31:00.004+08:00

So, yeah, today being uneventful so far, isn't half bad.

So guess what I got,
I got my own room :) it's all mine, finally.
The only thing that's missing is mirrors :)
I also got the coolest surprise for the coolest best friend ever! Although I did cry because my friends wouldn't tell me what was happening and I was seriously having a bout of freak outs and paranoia.

Oh, hmmmmm :) this too x)
Thankyuuuuu Jammy for EVERYTHING.

I got to hang out with my best friends and eat Thai food after ages of craving.
I got a really good day with the most important people in the world to me.
I got a phone call at midnight that totally made me smile :)

So thank you everyone, for your wishes and your gifts and your company.
You've made my 17th birthday the best I could ask for ;D

You know I love you :)

xox, trish

Daphy :)

2008-08-03T04:19:00.002+08:00

Hellooooooooo.
This is Daphne, Trisha's best friend. =)
Today's the ah moi's birthday and I'm sleeping over at her place.
She's feeling really sad today cuz she couldn't the perfect jeans. They are either ugly, too big or they don't fit her.

Oooh, and we made our own 'cocktail'. It's apricot brandy mix with ginger ale. And it taste quite nice. ;p

Oooooooooh, and she got an iphone 3G.
So cool right???
I wonder when am I gonna get mine, then we have matching phones. :D
Wheeeee~!

Teva shakes her leg when she's asleep.
It's funnayyy.

I'm now in Trisha's super awesome strawberries and cream room.
It's red and beige and quite big. Bigger than mine la.
She's got this cool spotlight thingy and it's colourful.
I suka! ;D

Oh and I found out that Breaking Dawn's only coming out in Malaysia on August 4th.
Boo!
Stephenie Meyer tipu me. She said it'll be out on August 2nd, but she didn't say only in the states.
I wonder if the movie will even come out in Malaysia.

Anyway, I don't wanna type anymore junk.
Byeeeeee.
I'll log into her blog again one day. :D

love,
Daph

Jasper Kukinawa

2008-08-02T09:33:00.003+08:00

Hi!

My house is ready, my room is ready. Happy happy me.

I've been having the weirdest dreams ever since I moved in to my room. It was that bad, I actually woke up crying. The next day was a really good dream. Then there's the one about the snakes ripping the other snake's head off and that young hot Indiana Jones like dude.

Oh, yeah. I'm still alive :)

Bye Bye

xox, trish

Back from the ABYSS!

2008-07-27T21:19:00.003+08:00

After ages of being MIA. I'm here. Hey!

The reason : The house has been such a mess and my brother took the laptop to work everyday so I haven't been able to come online.

I'm feeling a tad bit restless at the moment.

Anyway, JEREMYGAN!

I missed you like crazy and I went almost psycho.
Yes, I've had issues and NOONE to talk to and I've been so caught up with your present and everything and yeah. I read your blog, how can you assume I've been too busy to miss you? I think about you on a daily basis. So feel proud my sayang, I love you lots lots.
And, Happy Belated Birthday!

-input nice picture of Jammy which I do not happen to have-

Eh please, I missed you, okay?
Hee.

Moving on, school was incredibly funny on Friday. We being Daph, Mamai, Teva, SuetLing and I made a pact, we were supposed to act like we got into a fight in front of a certain kepochi. So Amy and WeiYing were in on the thing as well.

So, we had our fun and prefects were late for class, MissFaFa wanted to see Teva. So I entered the Physics lab after Daph and sat at a different table. Then mustering that angry face.

"Teva! Miss Faridah wants to see you."
-glare-

Mamai grabs her tudung and starts laughing. Daph starts laughing, I turn away to try to stop myself from laughing, Teva laughs.

I must've been very convincing since MrLim said,

"Trisha, what's wrong? Why so angry?"
"Leave it sir."
"Why la?"
"Just leave it."
"Girls and their problems..tsktsk"

-glare-

Then texts came flooding into my phone.

"HAHAHAHAHA" - SuetLing
"You scold me, I wanna laugh." - Teva
"So awkward!" - Daph
"HAHAHA, that SuetLing keeps glaring at me, I cannot tahan." - Teva

Back at class we separated our tables.

And the day went on like that.
So stresssss!
Then I cried coz I emo-ed.

Went to Teva's place, then back to mine. We got ready and off to the party.
No offence, it wasn't very good.
Putting aside almost getting raped on the dance floor, I was in a pretty bad mood.
Teva left early, Daph, SuetLing and I ditched halfway.

Then home.

xxx

Saturday was better. Today was boring.

xxx

I have officially moved in to my room.

I see myself slowly disconnecting myself from my parents, as if I'm growing up. First I couldn't wait, now I don't feel like sleeping in the new room. I keep thinking about what I'd feel when I'm leaving the country or moving out or just growing up. Mummy feels the same I guess, since she doesn't want me to sleep there either.

I like my house, it's almost done and it's really nice. Just one more day of renovations.

I miss my camera :(
I miss my best friend :(

I think I stopped moving. To me, time stopped, I totally stopped in a moment. But in reality, time kept going on, even without me it moved on. I just realized how much I've missed in that period of time where I zoned out.

Thanks Daph for bringing me back. Except I'm not so sure I want to come back. I liked stopping, I felt safe.

xxx

Ah, MalaysianDreamgirl my ass.
I really don't like you.
Stay away from my brother.

xox, trish

Boo.

2008-07-21T01:22:00.001+08:00

I can't sleep

School again tomorrow, I don't wanna go, am SO lazy.

xox, trish

:'(

2008-07-20T19:09:00.004+08:00

You arrived at my door, I hadn't yet known who you were or what you did. I accepted you and brought you to sit at the table with me.

A jolt of excitement spun through me as I thought what you would have been. Even though I already knew, I was only even more elated to have you in my arms.

I grabbed a knife, slowly and gently I put my hands on the box that enclosed you, I sliced the parting of the box, it ripped in a neat straight line.
I pulled out another box.
This had you all over it. I took out all the casings and I had found you.

Sleek and silvery blue, smooth and cool to my touch. My heart beat violently as wave after wave of euphoria engulfed me. Like ecstasy.

I fingered the knobs and the nooks and crannies. Silvery blue on the front, black at the back. It was beauty to my eyes, anything I could ever ask for at the moment was right in front of me.

I opened you up, put life in you and turned you on for the first time.

We went to Paris together. Capturing memories. We had fun.
You were so tired on our first day there. You had shut off on me. I wasn't surprised, you were my trusty companion throughout the whole trip. We went many other places, I even brought you to school.

I never neglected you, took extra care of you. You were perfect for me.

Now, you're gone.

I was at school, I couldn't have done anything about it. I'm sorry.

Goodbye.

xox, trish

Falling, yes I keep falling & he keeps calling me back again

2008-07-19T18:05:00.004+08:00

She's in her zone, with her friends. Everyone is talking, everyone is happy.
She stares blankly forward, her hands by her side.

His hand finds hers.

She's surprised and she stops functioning. Her mind goes blank and her heart races. In that moment, she doesn't know what to do, she flinches and retreats back into her shell. She grips her hands tightly. Instantly, a wave of regret overcomes her. She looks at him from the corner of her eye, shy. He seems oblivious to it all, as if he hadn't done anything. She gently moves her hand and touches his. He hesitates so she links her pinky to his. Realizing she wasn't going to push him away this time, he lets up.

Their fingers entwine.

Again her heart begins to beat so furiously, she forgets to breathe.
He has that effect on her. He doesn't know.

Her tiny hands in his, they fit perfectly.
This is where she wants to stay. He doesn't know.

His grip is strong but gentle.
She loves him. He doesn't know.

And then it's over. She never hears from him since.

xox, trish

I've just seen a face, I can't forget the time or place where we just met, he's just the boy for me and I want all the world to see we've met.

-I've just seen a face, The Beatles-

Nyaaam.

2008-07-19T08:38:00.005+08:00

Hello world :)

So, Friday was pretty awesome. I named my elephant Cau-chan [inspired by a Cincau can]. We started taking pictures of Cau-chan and Mika-chan and Eli-chan and YingYing. I've prolly lost you there, they're stuff Daphy, Mamai and I hang on our pencil cases.

Daph has the pictures, will upload them once she's sent them over :)

I went to the Editorial room to finish up my work. Creating a new page for the magazine + laggy computer took about 45 minutes to an hour. Amelia, KimLoong, WeiYing and I were late for History. We had totally skipped all his time except maybe the last 15 mintues. Met Edward on the stairs, he exaggerated on how deep in shit we were and entered class.

Mr.Siva wasn't happy, so we got it for 'truancy' although I wouldn't call it truancy if we went to class anyway.

Mamak session after school as usual. Ling and KimLoong joined. Then off to Daph's place since mine was so dirty.

Met Brandon.
Hi Brandon.
Left.
Bye Brandon.
Forgot stuff.
Hi again Brandon.
Left.
Bye again Brandon.
Daph left her keys.
She went to see Brandon, AGAIN.
I didn't.

Went home :)

xxx

So my dad hated the pink room, so it's repainted and it's pretty.
WeiYing came over to pass me my pendrive and new assignments. She left a note saying "En.Redzuan said the pages very nice, just need to make some minor changes here and there."

I'm happy :)

Went out to dinner, which I almost nearly puked out afterwards because of that stupid lady blowing smoke in my face. Like literally.

Educate your kids woman. They sitting right there in the baby chair, screaming their lungs out for attention and you're blowing smoke at them and the people in the background. When it comes to smoking in front of 4 year olds, every parent should know to go somewhere else.

Uhm, yeah. That's it, byebye!

xox, trish

Bow down to your ROYAL HIGHNESS

2008-07-15T21:42:00.002+08:00

Todaaayy, I had fun and was not bored to tears during BM.
I was Puteri Hang Li Po. HAHA. I guess my classmates thought it fit me coz she's some 18 year old seductress from China and also the 4th wife of the sultan of Melaka. I don't know HOW that fits me, but I went out anyway.

So I stood in front of class and the assignments was so answer yes or no questions.
The class would ask me questions about my role and my characteristics and I would answer Yes or No.

I didn't read the story, so I HAD NO IDEA.

"Adakah anda seorang yang suka pada lelaki yang lain?"
Translation : "Are you one that is interested in OTHER men?"

-gasp- "WHAT?"
"ERRRR, yahhh?"

"Adakah anda seorang yang cantik?"
Translation : "Are you beautiful?"

"HAHAHAH OF COURSE!"

"Adakah anda menggoda Hang Jebat?"
Translation : "Did you seduce Hang Jebat?"
"..what the fuck?" -stares-
"Its in the book!"
"Ohh, yeah, I seduced him."
"Ahhhh, DIA MENGAKU!"
Translation : "SHE ADMITS"

"Adakah warna mata anda perang?"
Translation : "Are your eyes brown?"
"Uhm yeah?"
"Dia tak tau warna mata sendiri."

Apparently, it was black and twinkly.

Then, I was supposed to ask the class what they thought I should do.

So they lectured me on how I should be loyal to my husband and not seduce other men.

I asked Pn.Sawiyah.

"Cikgu, Sultan tu ada 4 isteri, mengapa saya dapat satu suami saje?"

Then she scold me for trying to be funny ~_~
WOMEN CANNOT BE GREEDY, MEN CAN BE HORNY.

That's your lesson for today.

Titus was Sultan Mansor Syah, my husband.

Daph asked him "Tuanku, adakah anda mencintai Puteri Hang Li Po?"
Translation : "Do you love Puteri Hang Li Po?"
"Tak, dia isteri sampingan."

Then he got it from me KAU K AU.

KimLoong was Hang Jebat, the guy I was in love with.

Ah, today was fun :)

xxx

Thanks Tyng for the AddMath project :)

I stayed back, finished up my Editorial work. Met that stalker guy that took my picture on Sports Day when I was eating. My room, FAIL.

My mom sabotaged the whole plan. My room is now pink. Yuckyuck girly light PINK. Nauseating-I-will-kill-myself-if-I-have-to-stare-at-it-any-longer-pink.

She often forgets, I grew up with 2 boys. Most of my influences were from my dad and brothers. I am artsy NOT girly. It was supposed to NOT be pink. Light pink especially. Like WHAT THE HECK happened to my awesome NON-PINK plan?!

I'm so fucking pissed.

Ahhh, I have to sleep in that horrible horrible pink room.
So here's the plan, one day, we'll get my mom outta the house, Teva, Mamai, Daphy and Annie can sneak over to repaint the whole thing with me.

My dad felt guilty succumbing to my mom's girly idea. So he got me the lights I wanted. It would look better, if it wasn't in a pink room but I'll deal.

xxx

I guess that's it!

You know I love you ;)

xox, trish

Yayasan SUNBEAM~

2008-07-13T12:51:00.004+08:00

So, updates on last night.

Le Grande's 10th Anniversary Charity Dinner. Daph performed. I have a video of her almost tripping! But no, I won't risk my best friend embarrassment by posting it up. Pictures, later. I'm SO lazy.

Mamai came over at about 5 30 p.m. We got ready and Daph's mom came to get us at about 7. So we picked Teva up and arrived at the place.

Daph was like Geisha/hantu/OMGWTFBBQYERRWHYYOURFACESOWHITEONE!?

First thing Daph's mom said to her was, "Why your face liddat?"

So we tried taking pics of Daph and she looked scary in everyone of them. Dinner was served eventually. The emcee for the night was so weird.

I just realized, my friends.have.a.boob.fetish.

Teva tends to point out cleavage-y pictures. Which happened a lot yesterday. Mamai would randomly say boobs. Then she somehow would put her head on my chest and say,

"I LANDED ON YOUR BOOBS!"

..which isn't normal.

Eventually Mamai got bored of her own boobs so she started touching mine.

The performances were pretty cute. Lil kids running around in fairy costumes on stage. Ballet, Tap, HipHop, Jazz and all that.

Food was so-so, there was puke on the bathroom floor. Ivana was so gangster but she softened up, eventually.

This is making no sense whatsoever.

xxx

Aunt Molly dropped Mamai and I off, then Mamai's dad came to pick her up. I'm gonna do my own personal montage of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band cover.

Edited :

Daph

Teva

Mysarah

Mamai's I-landed-on-your-boobs face

xox, trish

August

2008-07-12T16:54:00.005+08:00

It was a month away last year,
I have memories then I hold so dear,
I was friends with those I don't usually befriend,
I was away from the school, the drama, the trends.
But drama managed to find me anyway,
On the grass we sat and talked in the shade,
a boy with flowers and a smiling face,
came towards me and said hey.
So I looked at him, confused,
I didn't know him but he seemed to know me.
With him a group of anxious onlookers, his friends,
this was a dare, a game, a joke to them.
But oh, the boy was very sweet.
He was talented with his hands and a rubber band.
He showed me tricks and made me laugh.
It was me, 4 boys, just sitting on the grass.
No surprise, none at all, I fell.
Not for the boy with flowers but the silent one in the background.
We talked like forever friends,
but behind the mask, lingered more than that.
But that was then, and this is now.
I see his picture and I smile somehow.
The night before the 31st,
my secret was out.
He pulled me away and asked me "How?"
He looked pained when he said "What happens now?"
The memory replays and hurts me still,
But I don't take it back. I never will.
We sat on the steps and the skies lighted up.
He told me of what he had back there.
His school, his home and his life before we met.
But that was then, and this is now,
I see his picture and I hurt somehow.
With a kiss on the cheek and a hug goodbye,
I walked away with tears in my eyes.

"What happened?" they asked, curious as hell.
My face said it all and it said it well.
They hugged me and said it was gonna be okay.
I smiled and said yeah, this was the way.
So I ran to the bus, I was already late.
I leaned on the window, this was my fate.

But that was then, and this is now.
I see his picture, and I feel somehow.
It's passed and over and I'm somewhere new.
But the memories of last year, forever true.

xox, yours truly

Oriental RED and WILD Dahlia

2008-07-11T22:49:00.003+08:00

I'm SO excited :)
The renovations are almost done. We'll have before-during-after pictures SOON.

Today was an awkward, out of body experience for me.

We had our Interact's AGM after assembly. The new board has been chosen.
That horrid pain I felt the day before was worse today.

Imagine a thin line balancing your emotions, your sanity. This thin line holds all, it keeps you in check. The pain, is weight. It weighs that life saving line down and like acid, threatens to sever it. But it plays with you and you're worried it might happen. So you play your part and you say your lines, trying to distract yourself. But no, it doesn't last, your natural nature to feel irritated at petty things come in check. Usually, you would just deal. But the pain, plus everything else, it changed everything.

That line, it snaps.
And so do you.

Right there, you're pretty vicious, harsh and cold. Your fingers lose colour and you're numbed. Numbed from everything but your anger. You lose your compassion.

Then you speak.

And it's over.
You're awake. You've realized what you've done.

The day passes dull. Sakai and JiaMeng cornered me for ice-cream. So we went into Physics about half an hour late. I was quiet throughout Physics. Daph and Mamai were commenting on little things, Mr. Lim, left me alone, for once.

Back at class, it was English, after the whole CindyCrawford Aerobic Workout thing, our muscles, and butts were aching. Going up the stairs was hell. So we were late for English too. I rushed my essay and ran out of class as soon as the bell rang.

Mamak session with Daph and Titus. Teva couldn't come.

When I got home, I hung out with Jeremy and Julian. Went to EndahParade to get PS2 games and McD's. I didn't eat, no burgers remember?
Met SwetVoon, she quit school.
Now I'm home alone. Again.

Oh, Brandon says HI. He's bored staying over at his friend's house.
I talked to ever excited Joey about school. Spell about lala's. JM about everything else. Teva about our futures. Jammy about godknowswhat. I talk a lot today. Too much.

xox, trish

I'm allergic to myself

2008-07-10T18:41:00.003+08:00

Boo!

I currently feel like I want to yank all my hair out.

Okay. So there's this thing called guilt, and there's some other thing called pain, and joy and all that jazz.
Put it all together, I think you call it feeling or emotions, or that nincompoopdownthestreet. Whichever works.

Me and itch, go very well together. I'm like the itchy eggheaded vicious little monster.
When I eat prawns, I itch, then I swell up and get all puffy but that's besides the point.
When I feel irritated, I itch. When it's guilt, I itch. I itch even when I'm depressed or angry. Long story short, I'm itch-prone. It not like there's something there, or that something bit me, it's just that feeling. Like it's itchy.

Okay, moving on.

So I failed MoralStudies, because I don't have an ounce of morality within me. Yes, I failed. I passed everything else though. Well not AddMath since I didn't take Paper 1. In school, I threw a hissy fit for reasons I don't want to talk about. But Mamai and Daph dealt with it, like they always do. That's why I love 'em :)

After school I experienced MORE pain. Daph said she knows it hurts, but no D, I don't think you do.

It's the type of pain you never knew existed, that you've prolly only read in books. One that leaves you clutching your sides and unable to breathe. Your body will radiate with heat and the only thoughts in your head at the time echo loudly and furiously.

"I need a meteor to fall out of the sky and crush me to little bits and pieces."

You will try to catch your breath and grip onto something tightly only learning that the pain you're feeling in the hand you're trying to destroy is not even close to numbing that pain. It's so different, as a matter of fact. This leaves you lingering on thoughts, that lump behind your throat. You look around, hesitant, searching for a small bit of hope, wondering who'll stand up and slap you and tell you to snap out of it.

As the people around you cautiously try to ignore your reactions to the pain, you know they care. Maybe to a certain point, they feel your pain too. Finally hope comes and you're so close to screaming and bolting across the street. But you wait and you compose yourself, trying to seem elegant. You squeal at the car about to hit you and laugh your butt off, trying to distract yourself. You think of food and shopping and freedom. You think of your best friends and the people you love. You think of the cause of the pain. And you hope some more.

This leave you feeling guilty, then triggers the itch. You barely catch anything, anyone's trying to say to you.

"Maybe I should break my fingers." you think.

You need your fingers plus you're a wimp so you don't do it. Then with a final squeeze of the hand, from your last bit of hope. You enter the place you used to feel so comfortable in.

"It hurts," you say. "It hurts like a bitch."
"Go take a shower, you'll be fine." someone answers.

So you stumble up the steps, shut the door and lock it. You fall onto the floor. This is the moment you've been waiting for. Rolling yourself up into a little ball on the warm wood, you cry. You cry and cry and cry and cry. The pain, it doubles. But you don't stop. You finally exhaust yourself from the heaving and the sobbing.

You stand up. The pain's still there, but this time you get cleaned up and dressed. You plaster a smile on your face and you wait.
You wait for more hope.
You wait for more time to pass.
Time, heals all wounds, they say.

We'll see.

xxx

Boy, that was pretty tragic. I can't wait for Saturday's Charity Dance Dinner thingy.

xox, trish

Oh?

2008-07-07T22:24:00.004+08:00

I'm going through that whole phase again.

I hate this phase, it causes disturbance.

So does the picture of the cockroach in the previous post.

How do I feel?

I don't know.

Blah.

School was same ol' same ol'.

Daphy, Mamai and I snuck out of class for JuicySacs but the place wasn't open so we were slamming on the door for about 10-15 minutes until we decided we looked like total idiots and went back up.

On the way back up Teva, Ling, Titus and Edward were coming down so we followed suit and went to the canteen, there was NOTHING to do, so we went back up.

One of the perks of being a high school senior, NO FEAR.

I cheated in Moral Studies. Pretty ironic, huh? Daph and I had to take the test since we skipped school the other day. So I stared blankly and the paper. Wisely and Edward showed pity, Teva passed me the paper with all the values that we were supposed to memorise. I basically copied off that piece of paper. Edward, Wisely, Ling and Titus would come over occasionally to give me answers.

Haha, I love my friends.

I didn't finish the paper, Miss Dew didn't give us enough time, I'm guessing it was rush work that no one really cares about. But I was forced to do it anyway coz the person who contributed most to the helping me cheat, was gonna rat me out if I didn't do it all.

We haven't done Candid5 properly, and I'm pretty broke now.

Oh so SAD.

I hate having no money.

I need to work on Jammy's present, it's taking longer than I expected.

BOO.

My birthday is in about 27 days? I think.

I'm getting old.

Time to get back to work!

xox, trish

Lummyyy

2008-07-05T23:26:00.005+08:00

This is cockroach.

I'm scared out of my wits of them.

My mummy, isn't but she was lazy so she sent me the killed the one in the bathroom.

"Mummmmy! GOT ROACH!"

"Where?"

"On the bathroom wall."

"Kill it la."

"I scaredddd!"

"Go la, don't make me smack you."

"SMACK LA!"

She actually gets up and chases me around the room.

"You're energetic enough to get up and smack me, you can't kill the roach?"

"I want you to kill it. FACE YOUR FEARS!"

So I go, kill the roach.

"Don't you feel stronger now?"

"I'm still shit scared of roaches."

The verdict, facing your fears doesn't always work.

Don't believe in the roaches.

xxx

I'm gonna be super sweet now and say nice things about a nice boy who is very nice to me.

He talks to me when I'm sad, he makes fun of me when I'm happy, he makes me laugh when I'm super duper pissed off.

Long story short, he cares about me.

He calls Teva a POSER.

He hated the way Daphy walks but changed his mind and told her she had a hot way of walking.

He doesn't really diss me but secretly, he thinks we're cool!

So, thankyus JM for being so kind and so sweet and so wonderful :)

I banyak sayang.

xox, trish

Dumdeedoo

2008-07-04T23:03:00.002+08:00

There's a bug going around.
It's left me feeling sick and nauseous and moody. I skipped school on Thursday.
Exams are going fine, I suppose.
None of us have been studying. So it's a lot of random shooting at answers.

My legs couldn't move, I was freaked out but Jeremy scared me so I moved them anyway. Today I sat on the bathroom floor waiting for time to pass. Bright and shiny? It's gotten pretty old, hasn't it?

Good Luck Spell!
I really hope you do well in the competition. I have faith in you :)

xxx

A small part of me wonders if I'd die today,
I look at the stars and they shine just the same.
I wonder if we'll ever meet again,
My heart'll skip a beat, it'll stop, it'll break,
It doesn't matter anyway.

And I smile at the thought of finally being free,
Just moving on, far away, I'm alone, only me.
I think of the chances I might feel like I will never be,
Never to feel like I belong on this earth, in this world,
in this galaxy.

I dare you, test my confidence and my ego.
Test my knowledge of the world, my heart and my soul.
Tell me I'm incompetent, a liar, a fake and a hypocrite,
Find your guts and I'll admit.
I'll admit.

I'll admit that I've made mistakes in ways I cannot change,
I'll admit I don't know all the worlds secrets and our coming days,
But I'll look you straight in the eye and tell you one truth,
I have tried and failed and I have learned in my youth,
I am not good enough for you.

Forever I've pushed and fought till I've screamed so loud,
So much pain, but you will never be proud.
Not of him, nor him, neither of me.
I will never see what you show others, that glee.
No, I will never see.

I don't want to fight anymore,
I accept, I believe, I will never win this war.
My heart is free, these chains are broken.
I'm sorry. I can't seem to see why you can't be,
When I am, truly happy being me.

By, yours truly.xx.

xxx

This is not what I intended,
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart,
You always thought that I was stronger,
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start.

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again;
Don't make me change my mind.
Or I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true.
Because someone like you is impossible to find.
You're impossible to find.

-Fall For You, Secondhand Serenade-
I dedicate, dedicate.

xox, trish

Enough.

2008-07-03T19:59:00.002+08:00

I've had enough of this bullshit.

What the fuck is your problem?

You know whats sad? I actually care.

I wish I didn't but I do.

You've crossed the line.

xox, trish

My introduction

2008-07-01T19:50:00.004+08:00

Hi Hey Hello everyone!

My name is Trish.
I just loooove wearing skimpy clothes and I have REALLY low standards.
I love BOYS and I can't live without them!
Wheeeee!
I also got someone to lower her standards JUST to be my friend.
Aren't I GREAT?!

Oh, I bet you didn't know, I'm like a hooker too.
Yeah I stand at the road side and wait for men to drive by.
Boys STALK me. GIRLS TOO! It's all part of my charm. I turn them on.

My best friend, she's just like me!
In fact, we're a team. We do these things together!
We're super clingy and weird too.

We're also really rude to our parents and we're freakin' proud of it!
We're stupid too, we can't seem to pass our exams and we fight with teachers and the establishment ALL the time!
Don't you just love us?

If you found me or my best friend fabulous, call us!
Or email us at
cheaperthancelcomstarterpack@slutsgalore.stfu

Sluts rule!

Btw, this is what we call sarcasm. If you took this seriously, you're a dumbshit.

xox, trish

I wanted to vent too

2008-06-30T20:05:00.002+08:00

Hello YOU!
I don't know if you read my blog, but I sure as hell read yours.
You know why?
Because I thought you were my FRIEND, turns out, you're a freakin' hippo.

I just really wanna know,
WHAT THE FUCK did we ever do to you?
Nothing I or anyone among us has done ANYTHING to affect you DIRECTLY or INDIRECTLY. Oh yeah, we're a bunch of self-absorbed mofo's. That's why we don't CARE about other people, right?

Just so you know, we do charity work. We help each other out when in need, especially when it comes to school. We're not the selfish ones here.

You apologized, I forgave you. We forgave you.
Here's the thing, why the heck do you even bother with the hassle of saying you're fucking sorry when you're obviously not. Why even waste your time when you're gonna do it again? Do you like saying sorry? Or do you just like bitching about us?
Coz it hurts, if you didn't know. It hurts like a bitch when we trust you and you backstab us. It's high school. People are different. Most of us have attitude problems, it's give and take! I pretend I don't see your faults and you pretend you don't see mine. Everybody'll be happy. Everyone's perfect! That's how it works.
Instead of the first few times of wallowing in fucking self pity, wondering whether we were good enough friends, I'm actually pretty pissed right now.
It wasn't that we weren't good enough. It's that you couldn't adapt.

In front of us, you're always nice. You'll talk to us and join in on our stuff. We like you, NO DOUBT, then suddenly we realize you've been bitching.
OH HOW FUCKING TRAGIC!
I'm SO pitiful.
In case you didn't note the sarcasm, I was being sarcastic.
You know what's funny?
I can't hate you. I can't because I like you too damn much to hate you. We were a team. The 6 of us. Now I look at you and I wonder, what the hell did I ever do to you? Are you seeking vengeance?

If you're gonna say you're sorry again, I'd like you to know, that I've labelled a segment in my brain 'BULLSHIT'. That's where your apologies go.

I think you've said enough. Because last I remembered, this is the first time I'm saying something. This is the first time I'm screwing you over despite the countless times you did to me. I'm LOW right? Low to a point where someone has to LOWER themselves to fit in with me. I cried when I saw that. You apologized, but even in your apology, you made excuses for yourself. I forget, why do I even bother anymore?

I was so over being complicated. SO over being angry. I wanted to be bright and shiny.
But no, that's almost impossible because of people like you that exist in the world.
Forgive me if I'm being harsh. But I actually mean everything I just said.

You don't deserve us as friends. Because we're too nice and you're just evil.

xox, trish

I was paid 50 bucks to do this.

2008-06-28T21:37:00.005+08:00

1.Shortest relationship?
- 5 minutes, believe it or not.

2. Last gift you received?
- haven't received anything in awhile.

3. Ever dropped a cell phone?
- i live to drop them ~_~

4. Last food you ate?
- burger

5. Last club you went?
- i've not been clubbing in forever.

6. Last smoke
- January.

7. One favorite song?
- Shut up and let me go - The Ting Tings.

8. Where do you live?
- SP.

9. Last wedding you attended:
- Ages ago.

10. Last time you saw your friend?
- about 2 hours ago.

11. Where is your favorite place to eat with friends?
- the usuals, mamak, mcDs

12. Can you cook?
- yeah, a lil here and there.

13. Last time you cried?
- a few hours ago.

14. Why?
- they were showing a video about the people who were affected by the earthquake in China.

15. Hate most about yourself?
- no, no hate.

16. Can you sing?
- i think so. haha.

17. Do you smoke?
- nope.

18. Pancakes or French toast?

- Pancakes!

19. Do you like coffee?
- yup.

20. Last person who sent you a message?
- that's none of your business.

21. What was the last text message you received?
- something something.

22. Can you play pool?
- yeah, i'm terrible at it.

23. Can you swim?

- no.

24. Favorite flavor of ice cream?
- sour stuff.

25. What time did you wake up this morning?
- 10.30 a.m

26. What are you doing this week?
- having exams.

27. Are you smiling?
- nope.

28. Do you miss someone right now?
- yeah.

29. Do you have a crush?
- nope.

30. Do you have a sister?
- yeah, but she's not related to me.

31. Who is your closest cousin’s name?
- Lisia.

32. What were you doing 10 minutes ago?
- Facebook!

33. if you were a color, what would you be?
- red :)

34. if you could go anywhere right now, where?
- an empty place with a spotlight and a piano.

35. Food you're craving for right this minute?
- NOT burgers. ugh.

36. Name a person who's name starts with the letter "j"?
- Jeremy.

37. where's the best place to eat ice cream?
- new zealand natural. HD.

38. Radio station you frequently listen to?
- traxx, hitz, fly, red.

39. Where do you usually hang out?
- mamak, mcD, daph's place.

40. if you were to change careers, what would you want it to be?
- i'd need to get a career first.

41. What are you going to do tomorrow?
- study, slack, whatevs.

42. Favorite day?
- Friday!

43. Are you easy to get along with?
- yeah. very.

44. What movie do you want to see right now?
- wanted.

45. Whose birthday is coming up?
- Jammy. :D

46. How many kids do you want?
- 3

47. Where do you usually watch movies?
- home, cinema.

48. Name one person which starts with the letter "m"?
- Mysarah

49. Favorite thing that you have now?
- uhm. i dunno. i like all my stuff.

50. Quote something.

- All my life I stumble but up here I am just perfect. Perfect as I'll ever be.

-Spell, Marie Digby-

xox, trish

Burly Unicorn Runs to Gay Emergency Room

2008-06-28T20:05:00.005+08:00

At 2 a.m, I was hungry, seriously starving. So Jeremy and I got Julian to go out and buy us food!

Jeremy being the slob that he is, slept on my bed before he took a bath.

This was at about 8 p.m, he woke up at 12 a.m to shower, then he went back to sleep again.

Julian came home with burgers :)

So Jeremy and I woke up to eat.

Then we went back to sleep again.

Then waking up at 10 this morning, we went down for breakfast. My maid made burgers.

I went out with Daph at about 3 and when the event was over, we got burger king.

So, within the span of 16 hours, I had 3 and a half burgers.

I feel like such a pig right now.

Ew.

No more burgers for another 2 months thank you very much.

xox, trish

Apple Trees and Natural Beeches :D

2008-06-27T23:38:00.002+08:00

Today I spent the day with my dad!
Yup yup. I skipped school, woke up early which was pretty easy since I slept with Julian in the same bed which was pretty fucking uncomfortable.

Went for breakfast with Daddy and Stewart. Picked Daph up and went to that place with the floor tiles.
So, we ordered them and we went to another place and another place and another place and I was counting the number of places we went but I lost count. I'm so lame.

Daph and I attempted to camwhore but we deleted every picture coz we looked so weird.
Went to the club for lunch.

So a whole day of looking at power tools and men stuff.
The verdict,
Daphne and Trisha
are 'REAL MEN' now.
I'm manlier than youuu coz I got power tool experience.

Daph doesn't let me be a 'REAL MAN' coz I tripped on a stick and screamed like a girl. But I don't care!

Btw, Sri Sentosa is pretty huge. I wanna go in and stand at the basketball court then go stand at the field and stone all I want.

xxx

"Are we that complicated?"
"Nope. To me, we're pretty simple."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"It's definitely good, I'm SO over being complicated."

:)

I'm done with the crying over things I have no control over. My parents, they'll be fine, they'll find their way. I'll do everything in my power to change things and make people feel better but that doesn't have to make me all emotional.

I have not complained in a long time and I like that way. I'm so done with complaining about how everything sucks. I'm so done being a prissy little bitch. I'm so done with being an idiot.

I've learned and now I accept.

I accept that life sucks most of the time. It's not fair. Especially not to me. But I also accept that I always come out stronger, much smarter and better at dealing the next time. I know I'll be fine.

It doesn't change the fact I care, I'm just not gonna let it faze me.

And, to you Ling,

When you love someone, and they break your heart, don't give up on love. Have faith, restart. Just hold on.

xox, trish

Oh you SICKOes

2008-06-25T21:17:00.004+08:00

I have never felt so old in my life.

I feel like the grandma who tells life stories to children so that they grow up to be good human beings, or end up extremely angry and irritated. Either one.
C'mon. No grandma ever gave me advice so you better be thankful, mmkay?

I actually lectured Spell on being naive. He couldn't pronounce it but I gave him a whole life lesson.
I kinda dissed CheeKuan on her posture. Yeah, it was pretty uncalled for, and extremely none of my business. But honestly hun, you gotta work on the way you walk and stand.
Then it was sex ed. I actually argued with Titus, KimLoong, Wisely and Edward on the colour of sperm. Which they said was green. Like the green goblin?
~_~

Then Teva and I started arguing about the colour of sperm.

"NOOOO, I know the colour! I seen before LAH!"
"HAIYO, I ALSO SEEN BEFORE!"

Then there was the awkward silence where Teva and I exchanged 'wtf?' looks while Daphne covered her innocent ears.

We both agreed on the same colour in the end. So we continued bantering the guys about how they don't pay attention to what they produce when they induce. If you get what I mean.

If you have a mentally of anyone below the age of 18, you don't wanna keep reading. If you do, however choose to continue, and you don't like what you see, please don't even comment on how dirty minded I and the people around me are. Coz it proves you have the mentally of 9 year old and should go back to kindergarten.

Except even 9 year olds aren't still in kindergarten.

Anywayyyyyy,

this is BRINJAL. It is purple. They come in many shapes and sizes. There's the thin and long, short and fat or just plain round.

Ling, you can't say it hurts, if you didn't pick the right one.
Lord, NO WATERMELONS ON STICKS.

Note : I don't do these things, I listen to the things other people do and laugh my ass off.
Now kids, get that horrible image out of your head.

xxx

George Carlin, I respect you.
May you rest in peace.

xox, trish

My name is Trisha and I say HI

2008-06-21T21:49:00.003+08:00

I'm a walking accident.
I walk and accidents happen. That's what it means if you didn't get it.
I'm also emotionally unstable.
You have to get me. If you don't, you don't. But you have to try. At least, if you cared enough, you'd have tried.
My life isn't easy, I'm not easy. I'm pretty high-maintenence, I don't like a lot of things and you prolly wouldn't like me to like the things I like. But I like them anyway. I hate change, but I change a lot. My mood swings will piss you off and make you wanna slap me senseless. Yet I do it anyway.
My point is, I'm a problem. I'm that itch you just gotta scratch, that irritating mosquito you just have to kill, the wound that just refuses to heal.
But you have to deal with me, you have to.
You can't leave me.
I can't be alone.

You're my best friends, you're my family. You're all I've got.

xxx

I missed blogging, coming online and all that. I've been playing the NDS, Phoenix Wright. That game is super happening by the way. Jeremy wouldn't let me save coz it would've overwritten his game so the DS was on for, I dunno, 5-6 days? Yeap, I come home from school I play until I sleep, the next morning before school I play then I go to school. The process repeated itself till the game ended but the game didn't end.
I couldn't finish the friggin' game.
Coz I lost the case, yes, I DIED.

So my 5-6 days of playing was wasted, and if I wanted to finish it now, I'd have to replay it from the BEGINNING, which means another 5-6 days.

I was in my Jeremy and Julian's room. Eunice was here too.
I was soooo sleepy but I was desperate to finish the game since my parents were nagging at my anti-socialness. But I made a mistake and I lost.

I was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Not funny okay.
It didn't stop them from laughing.
I think I cried.
But they laughed, they had so much fun laughing at me.

Idiots.

Now I stare at the DS in disappointment and regret.
OHHHH, THE PAIN.

xxx

My phone sucks even more. FUCK YOU STUPID RED PHONE.

Er, okay BYE.

xox, trish

2008-06-14T23:56:00.002+08:00

Hello world
:)

Everyone's out. I'm home alone. Even my maid disappeared.

My dad is god-knows-where, he wouldn't tell me. My mom is god-knows-where, she wouldn't tell me either. I don't think either of them are coming back anytime tonight. Jeremy's at work, Julian's clubbing or whatever.

Renovations are still going on, there's a big hole at the back of my house. I'm afraid rats and roaches might infest the place so I closed the sliding door and ended up hiding in the room the whole time.

I'm re-watching Grey's Anatomy.
Again.

Today was so uneventful. I hung out in Jeremy's room and watched them play Disgaea and Disgaea 2. The random men walking around my house were freaking me out, plus everything was coated with a layer of dust. EW.

Jeremy kept saying stuff like
"What's with the walking around topless? Yer."

and

"Eyh, if they were hot, you'd just sit outside and watch them right Trish?"

Then at night he was like

"Woi, you're not going out. And why you wear pants like not pants one? It's like UNDERWEAR!"

But when other girls wear shorts he'll say

"MMMMM. SHORTS."

That sicko.

That just about wraps it up!

Goooooodnight world!

xox, trish

Oh what a day :)

2008-06-14T00:16:00.003+08:00

And we have another weekend!
So this week went by quick. I feel like I'm running out of time already.
I don't know how I stay awake in class either. But I manage.

It's also a little awkward from time to time in school.

Before recess, we barely talk to each other. Especially Teva and I, there's the whole silent treatment thing. Like a treaty we both agreed to.
Hence, we hate each other in the early mornings.
Thennnn, if it's not a class that involves Math, Teva would eventually get bored and take out scissors and knives and pens or markers and stuff. She'll start poking or attempting to write stuff on me with them. Or, try to staple me. The whole situation gets contagious and I do it to Daph.
Sometimes, she randomly hits me to test how much pain I can handle.
By recess, we'd all find a way to make sure the whole world knows we're hungry or going to eat.
We do things like yell
"MAKAN!"
or
"Woi woi woi FASTER. HUNGRY!".
That's usually Teva.

So Daph, Teva, Mamai and I would always be the first to reach the canteen. Followed by Tyng and Amalina. Yes, we always eat together. Daph and I would have to find a way to stay stealthy since we're prefects and have duty. So when Mark comes along, we totally disappear from site.
I KNOW! Damn cool right? Like ninja :)

So almost everyday, it's nuggets or the red+white rice or both. Yeah, when people ask us what's the difference, we say we like the colours. Only Teva likes that black one. There's also JuicySacs. It's orange juice, we just like giving sick names to things.

By the time recess is over, we go back up to class, I'm usually among the last of the group to get back in. By then, everything's different again. We're all pretty silent all over again. It's seems like we've been able to have been pissed off within the 5 minutes we were separated from each other and totally decide we don't wanna talk to each other because we blame each other for the fact that we got pissed off in the first place. But that's never the case.
Then after awhile, everything is okay all over again.

So, school is a constant mood swing. I think we've all established that.

We also make plans for what happens after school and on weekends but we never come through with them.

BTW, this is for my personal reference.

We also have this habit of not staying in class all the time. But it's usually just the few of us, so I have fun.
I'd thought that since we're all really tight, we'd tell each other everything. And yes, we do in time. But at that moment, we're usually pretty secretive. We always know when something's wrong with either of us, but we never question or pester. Sooner or later, that person will crack from her dilemma and dish. We try to pretend we're really strong and we can handle ourselves well and we succeed most of the time.
Despite anything, we always have each others backs.

Some people would say we're a bunch of idiots, there are also people to say we're cool. No, seriously, I have proof! People do think we're cool.

~_~

We're all self-obsessed narcissists. But we're not self-centered. There's a difference.
People talk about us, a lot. Sometimes it's affects us, other times, it doesn't. But we'd get over it because we like ourselves THE WAY WE ARE. In fact, we never really realized it but it's the image we chose to create for ourselves.
I never understood why I'd change my beliefs or the way I acted because someone didn't like it. But 4 and a half years down the line, I learn.

4 and a half years down the line, we've learned.
:)

xxx

I suck at Physics. It's so weird, I used to be pretty good at it.

Teva said "DUDE, you copy off MY paper also cannot pass ar?"
Just so you know, I only copied that ONE question.

xxx

I need to believe in something. Something good that I can trust completely. Something I know I did right. I want to believe that this isn't how my life was destined to be. I want to believe that at the end of the day, I won't be alone. I need to believe that I can jump off the cliff and never hit the ground [I'm speaking metaphorically, go figure]. I need to believe that I won't screw up my life or have it less perfect than the way I pictured it to be.

I want to believe in something the way I used to believe in them.

There's a point in every kid's life where he/she realizes her parents may just be more messed up than he/she is.
I think I've reached that point.

xox, trish

Oh myyy

2008-06-11T22:30:00.002+08:00

I keep sneezing. Again and again and again.
I had fun in school. Yes I did.

Oral tomorrow. I suck at this whole BM thing.

Miss Norhayati said my english essay was very good and that she wants to see if she can put it into the school magazine :)

I think today we all got along.
Except Wisely.

Exam results are out and I'm pretty satisfied with how I did :)

I'm gonna go back to studying.
Goodnight people!

xox, trish

Let the crap begin

2008-06-08T23:54:00.003+08:00

Oh my I've got a headache.

School tomorrow. Yeah :(

5 months left of high school.
3 months till trials.
5 months till SPM.

Holy mack. I'm running out of time :(

..my pendrive, missing. AGAIN.

Goodnight people!

step step.

xox, trish

You can have it all, my empire of dirt.

2008-06-08T19:58:00.002+08:00

Today I was tested. I had choices before, and I chose wrong. Over and over again, I chose wrong. We make a lot of mistakes. I thought I was learning, at some point, maybe, just maybe I was. But then again, I made more mistakes. Not learning after all.

I was tested today. Today, I was tested.

Seriously.

Seriously~

Seriously!

I'm so sorry, but NO. I will not stand by and let you push me around. I will not let you look down upon me. I will get that scholarship.

I'm leaving.

The further away, the better. And honestly, I don't ever wanna come back.
We'll work our butts off and go far far away from this horrible horrible nightmare.

Thank you, SO SO much.
I'm finally free.

xox, trish

I won't get used to being gone.

2008-06-08T00:01:00.004+08:00

Everything's gonna start changing now.

I can tell, in fact, it's already begun.

Today was uneventful. Slept at 7, woke up at 8.
The people came over to do the ceiling, so going to the kitchen and stuff was really irritating with random men walking in and out of the house. The drilling and the hammering. Practically ruined my day.
Sent gramps home with the parents and went to Latin Night.
Pure boredom.

xxx

When you love someone,
and they break your heart,
don't give up on love,
have faith, restart.
Just hold on.

xox, trish

Hmmm

2008-06-07T04:58:00.002+08:00

I'm lonely.

It doesn't matter that my best friends are around when I need them or my family or anything.
I'm not being ungrateful, I can't say anything to anyone. I don't know how.
How to phrase it, how to react. I can't because I don't know.

And I want to know, I wanna learn.

There, I said it.

I feel emotionally disconnected from people and I can't seem to make that connection.

Talking about it doesn't help. I don't eat, I don't sleep. I'm not okay.

I can't be okay, I don't feel okay. I don't know what's wrong, please don't ask whats wrong. Don't ask how I'm doing. I'm not fine.
It's not just PMS or mood swings anymore. This is the real world and it's happening.

I'm alone. I'm not okay.

xox, trish

2008-06-07T00:32:00.002+08:00

Daphyy's back, so we hung out today. Went over to Teva's place to help with the booklets then we met Brandon at McD.

Then we went back to Daph's place and then I came home.
Yeap, that pretty much sums up my day.

xxx

There's so much pent up inside of me, I wish I could explain it or scream it out loud. I wanna dance in the rain and wait for the pain to subside.

Pain, it hits you right where you least expect it. I'm gonna suck it up and hope to God it goes away.

I really don't think I can do this anymore.

xox, trish

When I BITCH, you BITCH too.

2008-06-05T01:36:00.004+08:00

I wanna bitch bitch bitch.

Today was a bad day. Yet AGAIN. I know.
I'm not gonna relive the whole day all over again in my head. So no, I won't tell you.

Simple said, GIRLS like to be treated special, like PRINCESSES or ANGELS. When they're neglected, they get pissed. Hell hath no fury like a neglected spoilt brat of a girl.

Anyway, I went shopping, didn't buy nothing.

Yeah. I feel so pathetic. And fat.

I haven't bitched yet I know.
Wait for itttt.

xxx

Okay, so my brother has this friend, she lives up the street. She's so evil. Like seriously, I'm thinking, she might want to steal my bro away from his girlfriend. She comes over almost everytime Eunice comes.
She says things like "Don't be an ASSHOLE la." to my other brother.
I felt like smacking her and saying something like "Don't be a fucking AUNTIE la."

But no, I didn't. I can't stand her. She freaking mocks me.

Okay, I'm DONE!

xxx

I know someone named SO SUZUKI.

Well, I'm SO FERARRI.
Daphy's SO MITSUBISHI.
Teva's SO LAMBORGHINI.
Mymy's SO SASHIMI.
Amalina's SO SUSHI.

Sorry la, I can't think of anymore cars that end with an I.

Vaentan's SO TEPPANYAKI.
Jammy's SO ICELEMONTEA.

Fuck I'm lame again.

Loook!

Courtesy of JammyGanSOICELEMONTEA

xox, trish

Dear World

2008-06-02T01:11:00.002+08:00

You'll always be a part of me,
I'm part of you indefinitely,
Girl, don't you know you can't escape me;
Ooh darling, 'coz you'll always be my baby.
And we'll linger on,
time can't erase a feeling this strong,
No way, you're never gonna shake me,
Oh darling, 'coz you'll always be my baby.

-Always be my baby, David Cook-

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday, you'll join us,
and the world will be as one.

-Imagine, The Beatles-

This song never fails to make me cry.

xxx

Dear world,

Hello :) I know I'm supposed to be coming up with something better than that, but I have more pressing matters to talk about right now. I'm sorry there's global warming. I don't burn rubbish or cut down trees and I try not to use plastic bags or even eat sharks' fin. Yes, Ger, I read your blog. I'm sorry I'm just one person and majority of the people in the world just couldn't care less. Even though I don't talk about it, even though I'm not some die-hard environmentalist, I try. My dad told me he'd never forgive me if I don't change the world, and I think I'll do that someday. I will change the world. I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't try.
You know, I've made a lot of mistakes, promises I couldn't keep. Yeah, well I'm in a sappy mood right now. Deal.
Sometimes I think on the things people used to say about me. Well, I don't care about what people say, I care about what my friends say. When I was in Paris, my friend wrote some stuff about me. I find out a month later as I was getting closer to that friend of mine. It was like a slap on the face to me. I actually started to cry because of that. Some time later, she apologizes about it and I accept the apology. What's passed has passed, we get over it.
It doesn't change the fact that I still think about it. I am not a drama queen, I'm someone drama happens to. And I tell myself that everyday, but I can't convince myself I'm a good person anymore. Bad things should happen to those who deserve it, does this mean I deserve it? They also say that the things that happen to you are by choice. As if I chose it to happen. I did not choose my parents to have to sleep in separate beds, I did not choose for my brother to have nowhere to go in life, I did not choose for my dog to die, I did not choose to be here. I did not choose to be afraid of roaches or to be temperamental. Those came against my will.
I think I created an image for myself. I feel like there are some people who aren't letting me be ME by trying to be me. It upsets me when I see the people who used to be so brilliant and humble and kind become your typical 'cheaper-than-celcom-starterpack' bimbos. I do not appreciate that. I cannot look at them the same way again.

I wish I could sleep.

I wish people would stop complaining about me and take a look in the mirror. Everywhere I go, people stare at me and talk about me and I feel like I'm being scrutinized, I don't feel free anymore. They look at me like I'm a stereotype. Like I don't appreciate art or music and care about the world and politics. Well, I DO! I'm not just a typical dumb chick who ended up where I am by smiling. I worked hard for the things I got and I appreciate them. I'm not evil. I'm not that head cheerleader bitch you see in movies. I'm smarter than that.

Also, those chinese chicks who look down on my because I quit that class, you have no right to deem me useless. Chinese has many dialects, I speak 4 of them, pretty well mind you. Guess what? I speak English and B.M well too. And if it adds to an even bigger slap on your face, I won't get lost in France. I can order food and read the fucking menus. Stop looking at me like I'm useless. Stop looking at me like I'm stuck-up. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. You never will because you're so caught up with judging me. I have different views on the world and how I live my life. I grew up, I'm past that stage and you'll get there. Maybe it's time you tried it. Maybe it's time you learned that life isn't high school. How long till you realize? How long till you're caught up in a moment and you'll have to look at it like time wasted?

So, the ozone layer is thinning, my family is falling apart and I'm prolly gonna die being the person everyone loves to hate. Here's the thing, I don't hate myself. If your plan is to get me down and make me dislike my face, my personality and my attitude, you're fighting a losing battle because I'm not like that. I'm not perfect, I don't plan to be.

Love, Trish

xxx

I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only.
Take my hand and join us.
The world will be as one.

xox, trish

Tagged

2008-06-01T19:43:00.002+08:00

By JoeyC -

6 things I'm passionate about;

Fashion
Dance
Music
Cars
Acting
Good food

6 things I say too often;

"Piss me off only"
"I'm so awesome"
"Bloody hell"
"Oh riiiiight!"
"That's PURRTY"
"Seriously laa"

6 books I've read recently;

Twilight
New Moon
Everyone worth knowing
History
Physics
Superman comic

6 songs I could listen to over & over again;

David Cook - Always Be My Baby
David Archuleta - Imagine
Travis - Love Will Come Through
Anything by Paramore
Anything by Death Cab
Anything by Parking Lot Pimp

6 things I learnt for the past year;

People pretend they care when they don't
Everyone just wants to talk about things they don't understand.
At the end of the day, you only have yourself.
Love doesn't last. People get divorced and shit.
We should all just accept reality.
It's okay to wanna cry. People talk, I should be flattered they talk about me.

6 people to tag;

Teva
JammyG
AdikAnnie
Geraldine
Brandon

NicoleA.M

xox, trish

Why now?

2008-05-31T22:32:00.002+08:00

Maybe it's time I made an effort, I'm gonna reassure you.

Dear Spell :

You say you don't have a consistent number of friends and that you don't have a best friend. Yes, that seems pretty sad doesn't it? Well just so you know, even though thats true, people care about you. If you look down or feel out of place, someone is always asking you if you're okay. People love you. Isn't that enough?
For what it's worth, even though we're not best friends, I care.

xxx

So what happened today?
I went over to Teva's to help with the booklets. What we did seemed like a lot of work, there wasn't much progress because it was a lot of work. Seriously.

Then we did what we did best. Your typical vainpots. :)

I've got David Cook's 'Always Be My Baby' on repeat.

xxx

To think, everything's falling apart all over again.

You fell in love once, why can't you just do it again?

xox, trish

I broke it

2008-05-30T17:00:00.002+08:00

I would like to announce, that I am so accidentally cool!
Seriously, I have no idea how I broke my phone but yes, I friggin' broke my phone.
Okay, so that's not cool, it's stupid. But I have a series of excuses to how it was not my fault.

Here's what happened :

I was replying Spellman when it happened. My dear brother, jumped on me. He's tall and bony so you can imagine how that must've hurt. But it's okay, my phone, broke his fall and the metal thingy on the front broke too. Oh but it still works. It's fucking ugly, but it works.

So I didn't break my phone after all. He did. See? It's not my fault. It's all his fault. All HIS fault.

I hate my phone. HATE HATE HATE. Ugh.

xxx

Moving on, I'm thinking, screw the modern dance. We're doing it traditional. We'll have a bunch of people jumping around, up and down. With the heel, toe, heel, toe, clap clap, wheee! That'll be extremely embarrassing but it'll have to do.

I wanna help Teva with the sombrero. But I couldn't go today. So tragic.

xxx

I don't know why I still bother to check out how you are sometimes. I pray to God you come to your senses and realize. Why the sudden narcissism? Suddenly you're a braggart. The one person who used to be so humble has gone to shit. And my mood goes to shit every single time I see you the way you are. As much as I tell myself I don't care, I can't help but hate this change.

xxx

I feel guilty.
I wanna tell someone, but I can't. They'd never forgive me.

xox, trish

I think I have tons to say.

2008-05-27T23:28:00.002+08:00

Starting off with, I miss JammyGanPer-Vie. This kawan of mine, everyday play futsal and injure himself, eat ice-cream and fall sick, do jobs and not get paid. So tragic.
I also haven't seen him in ages and he's leaving soon. So tragic-er.

Also,
I hate waiting around for people. Honestly, I hate if someone ditches, but I hate it even more if someone ditches after making me wait a whole fucking day. I'm not a dog, I don't have all the time in the world to wait around for people. The least you could do was tell me it wasn't possible the first 2 times I called, instead of making me wait 5 hours for nothing to happen. This also isn't the first time this has happened. I think I've been extremely patient, go ahead and complain about what a mean friend I am to be blogging about this, but I think I have the right to complain. And since you don't give any feedback when I talk to you, I'm thinking this should assist in allowing you to realize how unhappy I am. I'm not gonna put any names in, but seriously, I hope you know who you are and realize that what you did wasn't nice. Forgive me for being extremely impatient, but what you did seriously wasn't nice.

And,
I.U Day is coming, the other performance has already started. The script is done, the actors are picked but the dance is god-knows-where in Mexico. I don't know how it's done and my responsibility is to make sure things go smoothly. My parents will disown me, seriously DISOWN me, if I start practicing again. I told them about it and they got fucking pissed. I don't see the big deal, but they're all like
"You know why you screwed up your past exams? BECAUSE YOU DANCED!"
I did NOT screw up because I danced, dancing is not the cause of all my mistakes, dancing is a passion!
But yeah, I don't know how I'm gonna manage dancing without my parents knowledge. Please, if you guys can figure out a way for me to LIE to my parents, contribute as much as you can.
Ugh. I also hope you noted the sarcasm.

I haven't gone out in ages either, yes, I've been studying everyday and being as good as I can. But this is just making me restless. I also didn't eat dinner and I'm damn hungry right now.

You know, I'm so angry and pissy and bitchy. No, it's not PMS, please don't even imply that it is, I'll break your face. I'm just fucking irritated with everyone and everything right now. I need joyyy. I need to go out.

I don't know what to do now. I can't decide, Mummy wants something, Daddy wants something else, Jeremy wants something else, Julian wants something else. Nobody gives a shit about what I want anymore.

xox, trish

Of Davids and Guitar Hero.

2008-05-27T22:25:00.005+08:00

This is a MUST-watch if you love the Davids. David Archuleta SO CUTE! I'm still SO inLOVE.

xox, trish

When the stars fall, I will lie awake

2008-05-27T21:29:00.002+08:00

So after the drama with the phone bill, I lost my phone line for good. Yes, my super chun ke-awesome-ted phone number that looks so good and appeals to my paranoia, obssessive compulsive-ness and nature, is gone.

No worries, I got a new number.

So, track me, hunt me down, interrogate me, I just might let you know.

xxx

You're my shooting star

xox, trish

You've gotta have a dick, to have a dick in your mouth.

2008-05-25T15:53:00.003+08:00

From Teva's blog :)

[1] Say you were in a relationship for 2 years and your boy/girlfriend cheated on you:
` Yeah, so? That's pretty normal isn't it?

[2] What was the last conversation you had with your best friend about?
` Things that are uncalled for.

[3] Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say:
` Hahaha, that's funny, you perve.

[4] Are you afraid of roller coasters?:
` Haha, I didn't until Paris this year. I love the adrenaline.

[5] Would you rather go to a party in or out of town?:
` Doesn't matter, it's not the venue, it's the guest list.

[6] What are you supposed to be doing right now?:
` Studying, I couldn't concentrate.

[7] One wish?:
` To leave.

[9] How is life going for you right now?:
` Don't ask.

[10] Do you miss any ex girlfriends/boyfriends?:
` Hmmmmmmm. Nope.

[11] Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?:
` If I'm still keeping it a secret, the person doesn't really need to know, does he/she?

[12] Last person to comment you?:
` I dunno.

[13] Is there any meaning behind your profile song?:
` There's no song on my profile.

[14] Do you believe what comes around goes around?:
` Yeah, I prolly deserve everything that's happened to me.

[15] What is your favourite fruit?:
` Mangoes, Mangosteen, Kiwi's, anything sour-ish.

[17] Do you trust people easily?:
` Yeah, too easy. But I'm a doubter. I doubt the people I trust.

[18] Who's the one person that always gets you through the day?:
` Jammy. He never fails to make me smile.

[19] Do you give out second chances easily?:
` Yeah, I give third, fourth, fifth chances easily too.

[20] Do you like hugs or do you freak when people hug you?:
` I love hugs. If I freak out when you hug me, you prolly stink.

[21] Done anything illegal?:
` Haha, I'm not sure. Maybe?

[22] Do you like steak?:
` Yeah, I do.

[23] Are you a lover or a fighter?:
` Neither. I love when I love, I fight when I fight.

[24] What colour are your eyes?:
` Very very dark brown.

[25] When was the last time you went out?:
` Friday night.

[26] What was the last movie you saw?:
` Penelope

[27] Who made you smile today?:
` Jammy.

[28] Do you smile a lot?:
` Yeah, a lot, for no reason whatsoever.

[29] Best thing that happened to you this week?:
` Sleepover.

[30] Do you believe in love at first sight? :
` Nope.

[31] Ever felt jealous of your friends?:
` Nah, they have some things I don't have, but they don't have what I have either.

[32] What was the last thing you did?:
` Study.

[33] Who`s next to you?:
- Jasmine ghost. Pontianak. Dettol ghost. The whole team.

[34] Who was the last person you were with?:
` Parents, Bro and Eunice.

[35] What song are you listening to right now?:
` For a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic - Paramore.

[36] How`s the weather right now?:
` Post rain weather.

[37] Last person you called?:
` Teva

[38] Last time you danced?:
` About an hour ago?

[39] Lost a friendship over something stupid?:
` Nope. I wouldn't allow it.

[40] Last thing you ate?:
` Eggs, hash brown and sausages.

[41] Been depressed before?:
` ~_~ I'm SO happy.

[42] What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?:
` Eyes or smile, I like boys with nice teeth. Haha.

[43] Where are you right now?:
` My brother's room.

[44] Did you go anywhere today?:
` Nope.

[45] Are you an only child?:
` No, I have 2 older brothers.

[46] What was the last thing you shopped for?:
` I haven't shopped in ages.

[47] Do you like where you work?:
` I'm still studying.

[48] Do you like books?:
` Yes, very much.

[49] Is there anything that you hate this day?:
` I hate everything, this day and yesterday.

[50] Last person you chat with?:
` Teva

[51] What was your topic?:
` Things uncalled for =/

xox, trish

You've gotta have rain to have rainbows

2008-05-25T15:30:00.002+08:00

Annie tagged ME

Instructions : Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 3 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
I don't have a specific age, I'll marry when I feel like it. My life comes first ;)

2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
I like potatoes, I don't like tomatoes.

3. If sex is a game … would you be good at it?
yeahh, duhh.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
LA/Manhattan. I wanna travel.

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
to have all my other dreams come true.

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Nope. Maybe other people can, but I definitely cannot.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
myself

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
I'd pack up and leave the country.

9. If someone broke your hand, what would u do?
Stab that someone.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Fun, friendly and photogenic

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
If I were list them all out, I'd take forever.

12.Describe your fantasized-life.
Having everything I wanted earned by myself without relying on anyone else. To be happy, to have a kid, to be loved. And the world at my feet.

13. What is your ambition?
I wanna be like Seacrest! I wanna be like Kidman! I wanna be like Cook! I wanna entertain.

14. What is the thing that will make you think someone is bad?
Body language.

15. What are the is the most important things in your life?
Uhmm, myself, my friends, my family, my food, my dog, my house, my stuff.

16.Are you a shopaholic or not?
Do you even need to ask?

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
my temper.

18. Do you believe in youself?
Yeah, very much.

19. Honestly, do you think life is fair?
No, but we get used to it

20. What do you wanna do?
I wanna go out, buy stuff, eat good food and dance.

I tag : Teva, Daph and Tyng

Sleeping is overrated

2008-05-24T18:55:00.002+08:00

So, I had a sleepover. Daph and Tyng were supposed to show but they didn't so it was okay Teva and Mysarah.

I kicked my dear brothers out of their room and we took over. We watched Idiocracy, which is an absoluuuutely dumb movie but hilarious. We order McD's and drank Ribena and such.

"Brawndo's got what plants crave, it's got electrolytes."

Anyway, Mamai was sleeping off during the movie and her eyes were so red. So we cleaned up and went upstairs. Soon enough, she was energetic all over again. There was blog-hopping and boob-grabbing and talking. I think we kept my maid up the whole night but I had tons of fun.

We slept at 6 a.m and woke up at 9.31 a.m. Then we mamak-ed and we went home. Mamai left after a bit and Teva was exposed to the evils of GossipGirl. She went home and wiki-ed it. Now she's addicted. Wheee!

xxx

My number is no longer in use. I don't have a new number but I'll be sure to let ya'll know when I get it. So don't call or text or anything. You won't reach me.
That's it!
Thanks!

xox, trish

Here's to my VAINPOTSELFOBSESSEDNARCISSISTBESTIE

2008-05-17T21:26:00.004+08:00

Get a load of this :

Picture courtesy of Teva
Model : Teva
Photography by Teva
Editing by Teva
Hairstylist : Teva
Wardrobe : Teva
Venue : Teva's room

This is one all natural, all original picture of, you guessed it, TEVA.

So, my bestfriend is SOOOOO self-absorbed. She keeps gushing and gushing about how hot she is. First, I tried to argue, then I tried to defend, then I tried to agree. I failed at all.

Need proof?
Here you go.

Yes, I have to agree. Her pictures are super hot and gorgeous.
Props to her for that.

I'm glad you're happy :)

xox, trish

Seventeen is a BIG number :)

2008-05-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

A very Happy Birthday to Vickie!

The angel/photoshop goddess/one with the super hot model skills has turned 17.

One thing I learned about her is NEVER judge a book by it's cover. The first time I saw her, I thought, I might not like her. She seems like the type of person I'd be at war with. Within a week, we were inseparable. Taking random pics with each other, the laughing, the jumping, the crying.

I remember our never ending escapades in the middle of the night in a stadium looking for that certain boy. We clicked in an instant and I'm surprised to how close we got in such a short period of time. But Vic, TerLi and Jassy stuck around long after the Merdeka Performance was over.

I'm super glad to have met you and I hope you have a superb seventeeth birthday.

:D

So CUTE right? Haha.
Love you tons babe ;)

xox, trish

AssCRACK!

2008-05-16T20:33:00.002+08:00

I apologize for that last post, it came off as narcissistic. Oh, I'm not taking it off. I apologize for that too, because I'm still being a narcissist.

Anyways, we've got ONE more week of exams, then a HOLIDAY. I keep forgetting to hand in my Moral Project which is absolutely stupid of me and our dear Pn. Chew is gonna cut my already super low Math marks so that it can be LOWER.

I miss AdikANNIE :(

xxx

I think the exams tend to bring some people closer, and others further apart. Mymy and Daph have been my very loyal JuicySacs and AloeVeraTits partners.

Amalina is a friend of the GOSSIP. Who knew such a carefree person had so much to say. HAHA.

There are tons of things I was supposed to get done but as usual failed. But on a very surprising and different note, my days have been pretty uneventful. If you don't count the running away from teachers and the going to hospitals. But thats nothing, I do that ALL the time!

Yeah there was the issue with the prawns again, but my Adik will be glad to know, I wasn't puffy this time! :D

OH it's DAVID vs DAVID!

Anddd, I'll be seeing you in the winners circle with a big smile on my face. Tatafornow!

xox, trish

When in a good mood, take advantage of the situation.

2008-05-13T22:22:00.003+08:00

In my face? Well if you think you're hot, take a step back. Look into the closest mirror you can find and think again.

xox, absofuckinglutely ME

Nuts

2008-05-10T00:38:00.007+08:00

Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen
so unsure but it seems, ’cause we’ve been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here, so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be
Arrived too early

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear, escape from this afterlife ’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, ’cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
of your afterlife here, so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway

This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)
No pain or sign of time (I’m much too young to fall)
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign
I've made up my mind

Gave me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear, escape from this afterlife ’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might
take me back inside when the time is right
Loved ones back home all crying ’cause they're already missing me
I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening
Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be
(I am unbroken; I’m choking on this ecstasy)
Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me
(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live)

I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear, escape from this afterlife ’Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you
This place full of peace and light, and I’d hope you might

take me back inside when the time is right

xxx

I watched The Assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford. That movie was shot like a Nokia Ad. 'Twas pretty good.

Haha, today was pretty fun, despite my all too sudden and irritating mood swings. Teva says she's gonna slap me if it happens again.

I think I screwed Moral Studies up, I usually get A1's so that's an issue. I spent my whole Form 4 year thinking it was a guaranteed A for SPM for me coz I kept doing so well, but the difference between me in 2007 and me now, is that I am extremely unmotivated. I don't feel the interest in anything or anybody. There are moments where I'm so nice to people, then suddenly I totally ignore them, like they're not even there.

Today during the exam, I kept saying
"SILENCE! I kill you!"

Teva kept telling me to shut up, then I was singing that campfire song song that Ling got stuck in my head.

Which would prolly explain why I couldn't think straight and form words during the exam. Thank you so much you dungu idiot.

"Harga diri..uhmm, HARGA DIRI.. C A M P F I R E S O N G song."

I also stole someones phone. Actually Daphne did the stealing. I just ran away with it. But then it's not exactly stealing coz we sorta asked.

"Did you bring your phone?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Pass.."
"Why?"
"Just give it to me."
"Why?"
"JUST GIMME YOUR PHONE!"
"Why?"
"Dammit."
"Okay"

Come to think of it, we robbed him like snatch thieves. But he hunt me down and I had to return it. OH BOO.

Then I kept hugging Ms Yaya. We were fighting for David Archuleta and we started smacking each other.

Then Daph and Teva said
"Trisha Archuleta Teo Tsuihsia"
Because he's so CUTE! I'm so in love with him. Heeeeee!
I actually cried when he sang Love Me Tender. I know, so silly right?

Anywayyy, after school there was a bit of drama at the Interact meeting, Teva left her pencil case but I couldn't send it over. Then Julian came and picked Daph and I up to go for the registration.

xxx

You keep talking about it like it rules your world, like it affects you in the most significant ways. Wake up, I stopped caring forever ago. I'm not insane and I'm not gonna feign redundancy. You're supposed to be old enough to just know about the things you're gonna have to go through in life and if you think I'm an issue, you have no idea of the gravity of the bullshit you're gonna have to face in the near future. We're running out of time and you're wasting yours.

How dare you speak of things you don't understand? It might have been a petty joke to you but it meant the world to a whole lot of us. You are in no position to judge and nothing you can do will ever earn you that right.

You have ridiculed me and my family in every way possible and if I never see you ever again, I'd be glad. If I did, I'd pretend I don't know you because you are invisible to our household.
Don't even bother reading my blog because my life will go on as though you never existed in the first place. We're very caring people, just not to you, no more. Never. I'm not going to apologize for anything because you screwed up. There's accidentally slapping me in face, jokingly slapping in the face, deliberately slapping me in the face and there's deliberately jokingly hitting me in the head with a baseball bat and running me down with a range rover. You did the latter.

I have NOTHING left to say you to. I don't owe you any explanations and I certainly won't back you or defend you ever again because every time I did so, I ended up being the stupid one with the idiots end of the deal. You used us. I'm sad and disappointed, but most of all I'm angry. I could murder you if you were worth my energy.

Goodbye M, you're no longer family.

xxx

Okay, don't mind what I wrote up top if you know it's not you. More exams to come and Mothers Day on Sunday!

I've got the sudden craving for a slurpee.

I miss the mamak sessions, I miss the conversations that lasted forever. I miss being childish. I miss the way high school used to be.

xox, trish

Everyday is one day closer to the very next day

2008-05-08T19:53:00.004+08:00

Here's a lil something special

:)

Seee my fat little head??

Courtesy of AnnietheAdik.

Okay, so I've been very distant since that incident. People keep asking me if we're okay and I keep telling them we are. Honestly, I'm fine with the whole situation. It's over, it's passed, we shouldn't bring it up again.

But you don't reply, even if you did, you take ages. I thought that maybe since I'm sis, I get to cut queue. It doesn't matter really. I haven't spoken to you forever because I got pretty sick of waiting around for you to reply. So maybe when you're not so preoccupied, we'll hang out like before.
I still love you to bits la, don't over think things ;)

Love, Trish.

xxx

My phone is acting up on me. I want a new phone. Haha, and they say I'm asking to much. I can hear them.

Diagnostic Exams are on now, there was a lot of commotion over the Intervention Exams, but the Diagnostics are a more silent affair. I didn't feel like there was exams until the morning on the first paper itself. So odd. Moral Studies tomorrow, lots of memorizing and I haven't started.

Snitch looks like a rat monkey. Such a weirdo wimp dog.

Our dearest Leon said I was cheap, worth only 5 bucks to be more specific while 'she' was worth way more. I think that was the moment I decided to want to have nothing to do with him ever. So rude.

What else?
I guess that's it, everything else is pretty private.

xox, trish

Trips around the sun.

2008-05-07T14:10:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry you're blue,
I'm sorry 'bout all the things I said to you,
and I know, I can't take it back.
I love how you kiss,
I love all your sounds,
and baby the way you make my world go 'round,
and I just wanted to say,
I'm sorry.

-Buckcherry, Sorry-

I love this song.

xxx

I'm sorry kid, life just ain't fair. But it's one free trip around the sun every year you're alive.

:) today I wrote about a lucky escape. I nearly got raped and killed.

Today I stood at the door of class and I looked at everyone. Mymy said, "Imagine how'd they'd act after SPM."

What comes after high school?

I'm afraid to think about it.

I am 16 going on 17. Finally.

xox, trish

I'll prattle on about minorities

2008-05-03T21:06:00.005+08:00

Here's the thing, I hate school.
But that's okay.

I feel lousy.
But that's okay.

I haven't spoken like really spoken [real conversation with feelings and laughter for hours] to my best friends.
But that's okay.

I haven't texted or call AdikkAnnie in ages.
But that's okay.

I'm home alone with a gastric and no food whatsoever.
But that's okay.

My exams are in mere days and I haven't studied a bit.
But that's okay.

I'm actually trying to find something that's not okay.
I can't.

And that's NOT okay.

Crap I'm so lame.

Lamer than KimLoong's

"Why do guy's carry totes?"
"..Because they can't find frogs"

-awkward silence-

Lamer than Daphne's

"You're not stupid, just not very smart."

Lamer than Jeremy's

"You think you so cute is it? Well, you're not."

Lamer than Eunice's

"Oh wow, a blue dick."

I'm SO LAME.
I need something better to do.

So how now brown cow?
Trisha tak tau.

xxx

I hate school. But that's okay.

I'm feeling extremely disconnected from you and you and you.
That's really not okay.

Jammy, where're you when I need you?

Why do I feel like I'm alone right now?

xox, trish

Tribute

2008-05-03T01:22:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry I couldn't say much to help

xox, trish

ZoomOUT

2008-04-25T20:11:00.004+08:00

Here's my explanation.

She lived her life under a microscope. Everyone was watching her every move. 'You're nobody until you're talked about.' She was definitely somebody.

Can you believe it? When something about her changed, people would confront her and ask her and advise her. School, exams, results, personality and even the personal bits to her life. It was constant drama but she'd deal time and time again. She was watched, all the time. Ask anyone. What's new with her? They'd give you stories. The good and the bad, the truth and the lies.

So she built barriers, walls to protect her. She broke hearts along the way. It wasn't a phobia, it was a disorder. But they never stopped talking. She'd feel relieved every time a story ended but she'd be longing for another one to begin. A mistake she always made. And they talked and the same thing happened again.

Can you believe it? People that she had no idea existed said things about her. It shows their obsession. But the words stung. They affected her again and again. Why is it so hard to understand?

She hated the microscope. I hate the microscope. The thing is, she feels obligated to please people. To live the way they want her to. When they talked, she'd try to fight like hell to what they say and be better so they'd approve of her. Don't you get it?

I have my reasons, I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I'm done with the microscope. Just, done.

xxx

I think what happened in 2006 is happening again. I thought she learned her lesson. I guess they never do. I couldn't do it. My heart wouldn't take it. It couldn't possibly.

Oh by the way, MerVin is stalking me. MooHARHAR.

xox, trish

Rain Rain Go Away

2008-04-18T21:01:00.002+08:00

I think I'm going through a lull.

I go through everyday like a normality. Thing's keep happening to me but at the end of the day I feel as though I'm out of energy or that nothings happened at all. It's as though I've fallen into a rut. I'm so happy at one point, but really sad at the other.

I feel indecisive, like I don't know. Like, I'm constantly worried something would go wrong or fall out of place or break down or cease to exist. I'm constantly worried I'd lose myself in all of this mess. There's a lot of what ifs.

What if I can't catch up?
What if it's too late?
What if what if what if?

Daddy told me never to say what if. Hoping brings comfort then grief. Working towards it always seemed to be the wiser choice for him.

Why do I feel like I'm trying to appeal to your better nature?
Why do I feel like I need to be accepted by you?

Why do I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle?

Why is this happening all over again?
..when I promised it wouldn't have to begin in the first place.

I made a vow and now it's broken,
it's too late, those words were spoken.
I know it's pointless trying to fight my fate,
I'll just hope the punishment comes late.

"Don't dream on it.." he says.

It's like contagious schizophrenia. Like the friggin' bridge to Terabithia. Pass on the image and you'll hear the voices. Start with the voices, you'll get your setting. Find the setting, you're the one that insane. Go see a shrink. Go.

xxx

I don't like people poking in my business. I think I've earned the right to be left alone. You don't see me poking into your life. I'd like to be happy with all my people who make me very happy, the audience isn't needed for the show. I don't need an applause. Just the thrill of the performance would make me happy.

I've had enough of all this. I'm gonna go back to my phone. My phone connects me to my person. My person makes me smile :)

xxx

You're a mean person and you know it.

xox, trish

And then there was me

2008-04-17T19:29:00.002+08:00

I've been avoiding conflict and trying to stay away from the drama. As predicted, I failed.

Mr. Siva was checking on our work and I as usual, didn't finish it.

Amy, Ling, Teva and I were asked why we didn't finish it up.
So the usual crap :

"Too much work, tuition classes, piano classes, seminars, ediboard."

I'm sorry I've been so lazy.
I can't help it sometimes. Haha.

Mysarah and I were rushing Bio today coz we wanted to leave early, but we got out of class late anyway.
I saw that guy who was taking pics of me on Sport'sDay again today. He was walking past and I was walking in the opposite direction. Suddenly, he touched my hand. Asswipe pervie doodle fuckface.

5Science2 will be going against 5Science1 for volleyball. It's gonna be so coool!

I miss JeremyGAN, even though he's all sick and I text him as much as I can. Because I looooove him and David Archuleta and Jason Castro and wheeee! I talk too much.

xxx

I kinda have this thing for this boy.
I thinkkk I'm addicted. :)

xox, trish

Guilt

2008-04-14T18:16:00.004+08:00

Okay, so I found out something today in school.

I started thinking that if it happened to me, my reaction would be
"That bloody bitch wants a war, I'll give her one."

Instead, the reaction she gave was "Why?"

So I started regretting, and I would like to apologize for what I said. I'm really not that bad a person, but if you seriously need an introduction to why I find myself really disliking you sometimes, I'd gladly tell you. Because, it disappoints me to how friendly you can be in front of me, and so different the next moment.

I'm so sorry for what I said, JenYi.
For the record, I take it back.

xxx

So let's see, Pyramid on Saturday with Tyng and Teva. It was considered as Tyng's birthday outing. We laughed at people, took tons of pictures, ate ice-cream and bought a bag for Tyng. That day including Teva trying the punk look, sitting in the middle of the floor and being stalked by some random guy with yellow shoes.

In the evening, after dropping Teva off, Tyng's parents dropped us off at FGA for Planetshakers . Yes, again, I went to a church. Wheee! As un-holy as I am, I actually enjoyed myself. The speaker was really good too. I had fun with Brandon and Amy as they were my company throughout the night.

Of course, there were the people I met for the first time. SueLyn, ChanMann, Amanda, Amelia and SueLyn's best friend, I dunno how to spell her name. :/

Also, Sean the super cute. Haha, I bumped into Jammy and Lionel and SzeWei and Justin and Enoch and Sanji and Isaac. So awesome.

Sonia and Amy showed up and we left pretty angrily. But its over.

It was fucked up when I got home. My parents were pissed coz they didn't expect me to be back that late. I ended up having sneak into the room and all that.

xxx

School as usual, was extremely dramatic. Pooh Pooh.

Teva and I were talking in Chem and I got called out. Damn nice.

"Friend arh? You finish the story."
"Holy mack."

I grab the whiteboard marker and walk towards the board. I stare at the equation and balance it.

"Why?"

I explain why.

"Write the equation for butanol."
"Holy mack, this is not good." I mutter.
"Erm.."
"First write the general equation for alcohol."

I had no idea what the freaking general formula for alcohol was.

"KimLoong, go help her."

My oh my this is pathetic.

KimLoong helps. Thanks tons.

"Now balance the equation."

I write a 4, then a 5. Then I'm friggin' ready to cry.
I kept miscounting it. Panik.

"Tevaneea, go and help her."

Teva helps. Again, thanks.

OH I COULD have SCREAMED.
I walk back to my seat.

xxx

KimLoong explains how I was shaking so much my CO2 looked crooked and wonky. Great job. I also lost my pen-drive. Jinxxx.

Ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-no-ge.

I'd like you to know, you people are really mean to her. Calling her names is just plain wrong.

i think i've forgotten how to blog.
xox, trish

Take Me

2008-04-11T21:05:00.002+08:00

I really dislike school at times. I go to come home and I come home to go again. It's pretty messed up but I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I feel pretty lousy and I'm angry at the fact that he let me take all the blame. She came up to me and said "Stay away from my boyfriend, I'm disappointed at the fact that you'd even try to get him, I didn't think you'd be that low."

She doesn't even know head or tail of the situation. Teva actually said : "That's just uncalled for, why blame the girl and not the boyfriend?"

I'm really disappointed in my assistant as well. He's all messed up and I've just decided I'm done talking to him. I like older guys, it's a fact. But lately I've noticed how much more immature they are. It's pathetic.

Back home there's a lot of fighting. The siblings, the parents. Everyone. We're not getting along. I fell down the stairs today.

xxx

Not everything is that pathetic. We're getting closer as a class thanks to the SwearBox. I told my dad how we collected 7 bucks in 2 days, with 20 cents per cuss.

"What kinda class are you in? So vulgar." he said.

I also told mummy how Edward, who is the king of profanities, has not had to cough up any money. She's seems to think our box is bringing out the good in him.

We were singing TeenTitans theme song in class today. We were singing Spongebob's theme song in the hallways. I had to 'follow' JiaMeng to the toilet. But we didn't enter the loo. We hung out at the foot of the stairs and talked cock. People passing by thought we were pak-toh-ing so when I went up to class everyone asked me if I was 'dating the Form 4 boy'.

Then HanifHamSap came to class and called me out, saying "Pn. Norliza nak jumpa Trisha."

Miss Dew gave me a look and said "What did you do?"
"I dunno! What did I do?"
And I frantically adjusted my hair and my clothes and tugged at my skirt. But no one complained about me. Wheeee.

Vaentan reads chinese mags. Amelia momo-chacha-ed me. We kept fighting for chairperson and I nearly climbed on the table coz Teva tangan panjang.

I got my sequence wrong again. Oh nevermindo.

Played WAZZAWORD after school.

Went home, did homework. YES HOMEWORK.

xox, trish

H to the Ello

2008-04-09T19:53:00.005+08:00

I've been gone for a long long time. Here's why, the lightning struck the house and then the phone lines went all weird and there were sounds like 'BEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPBURRBURRPREPREPTERBOMMMMBEEEEEEEP'

Soooooooo, yeah. The connection stopped working. Also, I've been super busy with a lot of things. Like SPORTS DAY!

It was different this year. Less hanging out with friends, more being alone and cheering and participating.

I ran my usual 4x100m. According to people, I was super fast it was shocking. I over took many peoples and then LittleMissTHIRDrunner lost my lead. Oh nevermind.

KawadKaki was awesome. I stood in front in pretty purple and I was so happy with how everything turned out. THANKS SO MUCH to AhJun and the guys. They put a lot of heart into it. Also, Amy and FuiJinn and LeiFong who helped tons.

For pictures and the whole deal, check out Teva's blog.

Oh, btw. JenYi, you better watch yourself. I will hurt you.

Ho humm.

xxx

Teva, Ling and I were supposed to participate in debate this year but we didn't go for it in the end because we got the letter late and we don't have a Bumi speaker.

I kinda wanted to join :(

And also, I love love love Jason Castro!

I don't mind the hair coz it suits him and he can sing and he's got the most beautifulest eyess. I told my mummy, I wanna marry him.

And she said : "Okay, go la."

Then then, there's David Archuleta. DAMN CUTE LOR!

Also, there's the boys from GossipGirl, which I'm currently extremely in love with. Nate Archibald and Dan Humphrey ALL THE WAY.

Blair is awesome.

xxx

What else? I'm supposed to apologize to that evil Pn. Lam. I'm supposed to stay away from this boy because his girlfriend told me so. I'm supposed to not hurt JenYi. But, guess what? I don't care. I thought about it during BM today which would explain why I was so quiet.

I decided, I'm not gonna swallow my pride. I'm not a whore so I'm not doing anything wrong. And that girll, soooo deserves to be hurt.

Haha, that's my time. I gotta go.

You know you love me. *hint hint*

xox, trish

Today, Tomorrow, It's all the same to me..

2008-03-30T22:57:00.002+08:00

I woke up early early today and I decided, today is bum around the house in your jammies day!
So I grabbed food, and chocolate and anything bum worthy, put on a movie and sat there munching away.

Then PHONECALL!

Teva said lunch. So LUNCH! It was so last minute I had 20 minutes to get ready.

But I rushed and I was readyyy~

We had Claypot Chicken Rice in Chan Sow Lin. Then we went back to Teva's place. Then I went home.

Today was a good day, in a boring after I came home kinda way.

So today, I learned how much I love :
1. Pears!
2. Johnny Depp!
3. Chocolate cake!
4. Just cake really, good nice wonderful tasting cake.
5. Magnum ice-cream
6. Cereal!
7. Tau Foo Far!
8. Cendol!

Then there's that undying love for Edward Cullen, but I didn't have to learn that today. I knoww that all the time :) Oh the irony. I wonder if I left anything out.

Btw, I realized I don't know how dates work. On tv, they look simple. But so far, every date I've been on has either left me feeling irritated or awkward. And group dates, LONELY. I also end up talking to the girls more than the person I'm supposed to be dating.

Maybe the boys I've been dating are just boring.

:/

xxx

Studying, is like cleaning the toilet. It's horrible and disgusting and it's one of the things I hate to do, but when it's done, everyone's a ton happier.

Yeap, I managed to come up with that while, you guessed it! Studying.

xox, trish

When PMS strikes

2008-03-29T20:50:00.005+08:00

I was so rude to the teachers in school today.

Like the naive little idiot I am, I showed up in school at 7 30 a.m sharp. Dressed in that extremely uncomfortable kebaya. Pn. Lam, the counsellor teacher, exclaimed

"Whyy you wear like that? I thought you said you were wearing some chin-chai baju kurung??"

After being told I was stupid to succumb to the idiocy of being involved in events like these all the time by my dad, I was in no mood, I repeat NO MOOD for that whiny voice to be nagging at me in the morning with students at the school busstop staring at me like I was butt naked.

"I said I was wearing a kebaya, teacher." I replied, extremely disgruntled.
I didn't bother to hide the rudeness in my voice.

She went on about how I looked extremely out of hand and it wasn't allowed as the principle didn't like it.

Owhkay, so it seems like I'm the whore, wearing the extremely revealing supposed traditional costume. That's not how it is.

Simple said, the teachers' in charge of the event were extremely unorganized. After losing the argument, the played the blame game.

I asked if they needed to see the costume.
They said : "No need lah, baju kebaya all the same."

I showed up in the costume.
They said : "I thought yours was the normal type, this isn't normal!"

Honestly, OMGWTFBBQ is wrongg with you dingdongs?

I don't see how there's a normal kebaya and a not normal one. And if they KNEW there was normal and abnormal, they could have probably given specifics. Like no organza, no see-through materials. In fact I don't even think they knew the difference between a baju kurung and a baju kebaya. ~_~

Tyng was arguing with them as well, and Daphne overslept again. Edgar and Edward tried to calm me down but thanks to PMS and emotional instability, I cried. Yeah, I was so fucking pissed I cried. I wouldn't even look at the teacher in the eye.

Edgar had to leave for the Sunway Leadership Challenge thing, and Pn. Lam sabotaged me by asking Daph and Tyng to go get registered, leaving me alone. I couldn't form a complete sentence thanks to the heaving and the coughing and the choking. So I screamed at Pn. Lam.

She was, as usual, making excuses for herself.
I was hyperventilating.
All I could manage was,

"I don't *heave* see *heave* how this is *heave* my fault!"

She attempts to argue.

"This *heave* is not my *heave* problem. It's due *heave* to your irre *heave* sponsi *heave* bility!"

Yeah, I screamed that, so people were sorta staring. And Pn. Lam decides she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Edward on the other hand, tells her to leave me to cool off.

Still hyperventilating, I kept quiet, WeiYing comes with a packet of tissues and JzeYing comes and sits beside me as well. I couldn't breathe and I wanted to jump Pn. Lam and slap her senseless.

Then, she nicely threatens me with the school leaving cert. Saying that my behaviour could be given a C and that I wouldn't be eligible for scholarships if it's a C.
I angrily retorted.

"My parents can pay for my education thank you very much."

Then she brings Miss Liew into the conversation, telling how she could have gotten 'Guru Cemerlang' if it wasn't for the way she dressed. And she talked about the principle and she tells me to go home.

I answer her again.
"My dad just sent me here, you expect me to call him to come and pick me up? If you seriously want that, you're getting yourself into loads of shit."

Then she let slip that she told the principle she checked our costumes and the principle would get angry and scold them if I go up there.

They're covering their asses, these evil bitches.

I explained how I've worn the same types of kebaya the previous years and it hasn't been a problem. Tyng comes back loudly exclaiming about how stupid the organizers are for getting the students to show up 2 bleeding hours before the event started. Ling, Tyng and I complain about the teachers and Daph joins us.

Pn. Lam offers to send me home or take me to the Sunway thing as if her mistake was petty. I didn't see how it was nothing after being yelled at by my dad because I had to come to school at all so I made more noise and she left.

Pn. Lam has once again pushed me to the max. I'll make it clear I'll never have anything to do with her after this because she is horribly disorganized and unappreciative. Also the fact that she refuses to take the blame for her mistakes and puts it all on everyone else. I think if she killed someone, she'd bury the body and live without guilt. It's like how she screwed up and tried to get me to disappear from school grounds. Monster.

I'm not forgetting this, neither am I letting it go. Nuh uh no way.

xxx

Daph's parents came and picked us up, went to Daphyy's place and hung around. Then I was sent home. My parents weren't home yet when I arrived. Watched some movies and then I went out for dinner with the family minus Jeremy.

I told my mom about what happened in school, she told my dad. As expected, they told me I was stupid to be involved with idiots. Then I told them about Mark, and my dad said..

"Sick boy, that one."

Julian said,

"That guy needs to be beaten up."

And my dad said,

"Yeah, seriously, he needs it so bad. Go beat him up."

Haha, I so very much agree.

xxx

Anyway, thanks Tyng, Ling, JzeYing, WeiYing, Edgar, Edward and Tyng's mom for today. It would seriously have ended badly if they weren't there.

And again, bad things seem to keep happening to me.

Oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUN.CHAN!

xox, trish

Sadists' Paradise

2008-03-29T00:23:00.002+08:00

If you're still here and extremely interested in how I managed to get through this week, you're definitely sadistic.

Despite the usual crap, I spoilt my Zen.
Yes, it can't be saved, coz I wanted to save it so I played mechanic and nearly pulled one of my fingernails off. I ruined it even more ~_~

Daphne wiped the table with my nuggets. :(
Wisely kicked me.
Kuan Sing ditched me, again. I'm damn sick of waiting around for him to get his job done. It's a waste of my time.
I failed Add Math and Mr. Lim was being a jackass about it.
Daphne keeps forgetting to bring the cd's.
Julian keeps getting me into trouble with my parents.
My parents keep yelling at me.
Sometimes Teva doesn't talk to me at all in school.

I think everyone hates me.
I haven't even been talking to Annabel and Daphne.

So it's either, everyone hates me or I'm the victim of some cruel joke.

I think people think I'm stupid. So they lie and they talk about things like I don't get it. It's pathetic. But they'll just tell me I'm overthinking things like I'm deranged or some lunatic. I'm clearly not. Then they say I'm worrying too much over little things, but I'm not doing that either. So they'll tell me I'm in denial. I was laughing like a mad idiot just now, but my mood's just gone to shit now.

Ta!

xox, trish

We're like the marines..

2008-03-22T22:58:00.005+08:00

..we NEVER leave a man behind.

xxx

Today was a series of perfectly orchestrated unfortunate events, all happening to me.

I went to school early in the morn for what we people call a 'Gotong Royong'. This is when we clean up and make pretty our surroundings. Our [Teva, Daph, Ling and I] tasks were to paint the computer lab with a number of other interactors. Sanjivan, Kwan Yew and Lord were already in school by the time we got there. Chun Kit was also there even though he wasn't an interactor. So nice of him :)

So, the bad luck begins.

First thing I did was, I was holding that long stick with the roller, and it came loose and fell while I was painting. After that, I accidentally smeared maroon paint over the walls I was supposed to be painting white.
Then I smeared maroon paint on my pants ~_~
Oh, then I was painting the pillar and the above bit, and blue paint dripped on my face and my ear and my hair.
Then Daph and I wanted Slurpee. So off the 7-eleven we went. The thing blew up in my face. ~_~

It was like everything was moving slow motion. I saw the lid fly up as the cup gave a loud pop. Up went a splosh of green icy goodness and splat! back down on my face.

Then that sakai fella, I dunno what his name is. He stole my shoe and he hid it somewhere. But Leon helped me get it back. :)

After school, I went back to Teva's place with her. We bought food and we ate and we cleaned up with turpentine. Then we did the little bit of work we could do.

Unexpectedly, I got at text message from someone. Teva's bit of drama for the day.

xxx

Annie came over with cupcakes!So sweet right??

We stoned in front of the computer and we went to watch Criminal Minds. Which mind you, I would like to say that..

ANNABEL is a WIMP!
She got scared.

But still, thankyu for the cupcakes. :)

I didn't get poisoned and die so props to you! Plus I'm not PUFFYYYY~

I'm bored again.

xox, trish

Prawns are EVIL

2008-03-20T22:49:00.002+08:00

If you know me, you SHOULD know, never feed me prawns.
Not even the tiny ones. I'm allergic to them :(

Yes, it's sad because I like prawns very much. Sometimes, resisting the temptation to eat them is, almost impossible.

But as of yesterday, I can never taste another prawn EVER again.
Here's what happened :

As some would know, after I eat prawns, I'd get a bad bout of rashes. I would get all red and spotty and really fugly. But thats just it.
Yesterday, on the other hand. I almost died. :O
Yeaah, I didn't know there were prawns in the noodles. Neither did anyone else. And even if there was, there's nothing to worry about. Just rashes. OR SO I THOUGHT!

After awhile, the rashes came. I was watching tv and it was getting worst. I told my mom about it, and my face was getting puffy. Yess, PUFFY.
I was actually swelling up.

Stop laughing Annie.

Wellll, I couldn't breathe. I was choking and coughing and my dad freaked out. So he rushed me to the hospital. Yeah, my dad was speeding like a madman.
I arrived and to open up the airway, they had to stick a tube down my throat.
That was extremely uncomfortable and disturbing by the way.
Then they gave me some injections.

The thoughts that were running through my head were :
"I'm gonna die I'm gonna die. Holy mack I'm gonna die."
and
"Oh crap, needles. I hate needles. Bloody hell!"

Anyway, soon the swelling went down and I was free to go.

Unfortunately for me, I have some scars on my legs from the rashes since they were much worse this time. No I'm not gonna show you coz they're really ugly. You might get scared and think I'd infect you.
But I'm alive. So hmmm.

Dum dee doo.
-courtesy of Annabel-

xxx

I went over to Annabel's today. We talked. She drew me being puffy.
But honestly adik, it looks more like I was bloated and pregnant.

I'm going back to cramming Biology.

Ta!

xox, trish

It's at an end.

2008-03-19T20:09:00.002+08:00

My days are usually extremely tiring in the morning, I wake up after sleeping an hour before I have to wake up. When it comes to school, I'd talk to only a certain few people in the morning. Basically because the only people I feel like talking to in the morning are in my class and I'm a prefect. I don't have much time to talk before assembly, so I ignore everyone or they ignore me, who knows anymore? Well, until I get to class.

There's always a reasonable amount of fear in me in the mornings. I'd fear for my day, I'd be afraid if I'd go through something that would ruin my week. I'd worry about anything that could possibly be completely hazardous to a weak mind and a faltered ego.

If the day goes well, I'd gradually be more friendly to everyone. My mood swings always prepared for full effect any time. Sometimes I make mistakes and screw up my own day, some days, when it's not my fault, I'll get angry at the person who is at fault.

By the time school ends, I'll wonder which of my friends would wait for me. Sometimes they just walk right off and I'd be disappointed, only to find them waiting outside for me. That usually brightens up my mood. So by the time I get to the bus stop, I'd be pretty perked up.

And time passes, quick..sometimes I don't notice it passing. I'd panic when I realized how much time I've lost. By evening, when the sun is about to set, I begin to lose all joy.

It seems as though something is ending. Everyday it seems like I won't wake up tomorrow so I begin to feel like, I feel like..
I can't find a word.

It's the end, and I feel it.

I go through every day like that. My constant wonder of whats gonna happen in the next second.
Afraid of the sunrise, in love with the mornings, don't notice the afternoons, sunsets make me weak, nights are lonely.

I'm supposed to get used to this.
I should.

xox, trish

So PLANNED out

2008-03-19T00:47:00.002+08:00

It's settled, I'm gonna get it done! After SPM of course, but Daph, Teva and I have planned it and we are happy to announce that it's a surprise, and you'll have to wait many moooons to find out! ;)

Don't worry, we'll definitely shove it in your faces when it's done. Hahaha.

Exams are on. Gosh, I hate exams. No, I have NOT been studying so I'm not gonna complain about my results when they get back. I'm just gonna say "Haiya. MY FAULT LA I KNOW."

But thanks Teva for helping me :)

I prolly won't be updating much since school's reopened and my parents aren't giving me as much freedom since it happened.

xxx

You are a great champion. When you ran the ground shook. The sky opened and mere mortals parted. Parted the way to victory. Where you will meet me in the winners' circle. Where I will lay a blanket of flowers on your back.

-Dreamer-

Daphne, is, a horse. When she ran, the ground shook. The sky opened and mere mortals parted. Parted the way to victory. Where I waited in the winners' circle. Where I laid a blanket of flowers on her horsey back. And she was pleased. She neighed.

OkayOKAY. Sorry kawan. HAHAHAHA.

xox, trish

Wham smack into my face

2008-03-15T21:43:00.003+08:00

What you get for being stubborn and stupid. Haha, I was running and gliding around the house today and my maid said that it was only a matter of time till I hit something.

While answering "Noooooooo~ I won't~~~"
I was gliding towards the stairs. I did it many times before, honestly. I was able to brake all the previous times. But this time, Julian yelled "BOOO!".

So I slipped on the stairs and fell flat on my butt and continued to slide down the steps. I'm not sure if 'slide' is the right word because it wasn't a smooth ride. Nuh-uh, not at all.

But Julian had a laugh. Oh yes, he was laughing so hard with my maid and my gramps.

xxx

The night before, Jeremy's friends came over. Eunice was already here at the time. As usual, they played mahjong. And Don drank Malta.

So the conversation was like this ;
Jere : "Amanda looks a bit like Lucy Liu."
Wan Yee : "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?"
Don : "You hava got to mean a shrunken Lucy Liu with abdominal problems."
Julian : "A bit la. I think so too."
Jere : "Yeah la. Got!"
Wan Yee : "Do youuu think Amanda's hot?"
Jere : "Well...EYH who's turn?"
Wan Yee : "Stop changing the subject la dei."
Jere : "..."
Don : "OhMYGOD you think she's hot!"
Wan Yee : "Yeerrrr."
Me : "No la, Jeremy just doesn't wanna diss his friend's girlfriend."
Jere : "NOW, MY SISTER, is very smart. She knowsss me. WE are ONE."
Wan Yee : "Cock la. Your little sister had to defend you."
Jere : "NOOOOO.."
Everyone except Julian and me turn on him.
Eunice : "Why la suddenly merajuk?"
Jere : "Coz I've been ACCUSED! I'm an INNOCENT MAN!"
Wan Yee : "You're not a man la, cannot even answer the question."
Don : "Yeah la. Senapang so short summore."

Then there was the ordering McDonald's scenario.

"Uhmm 1 Chocolate Sundae. Eyh no, that that cornetto shit."
"Yeah, and 1 strawberry and another chocolate sundae. Yeah, this one the normal shit."

Then McD didn't wanna deliver coz we lived in Sri Petaling. And Don was like, Yeahla. Stupid Sri Petaling, KAMPUNG!

So Julian, Eunice and I went out at 3 a.m to a drive thru to get our food. But McD didn't have ice-cream. Buggers. So Eunice wasn't happy because she was cravingg it.

This is such a weird post.
Hmm.

xxx

I'm confused. I dunno what to believe anymore.

xox, trish

Love in Italy

2008-03-14T20:03:00.002+08:00

At the risk of sounding corny, I'm gonna tell you a dream I had. It was so good I refused to wake up :)

I was in Italy. I just knew it was Italy even though I've never been and there were no signs. But it seemed like Italy.

I was with him. He is indescribable. He's just there and if you fail to see him, you fail to understand every ounce of feeling I have. Well, anyway, in my dream..

We never went out in the sun. We'd sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. I'd cling to him on the vespa and we rode around town. The streets were always empty and it was always just the 2 of us. We'd stop at places we wished to stop at, and under the streetlights and the moonlight, we'd laugh and play and dance. He was gentle, sweet, cautious but extremely spontaneous. Sudden movements would make my heart skip a beat, but I'd feel so comfortable around him.

When the time is right, and we always knew when it was right, we'd go back to the house, stand at the porch and wait. In time, the sun would come up and we'd stand there watching it. He'd hold my hand and watch me as I stared in awe at the beautiful morning sky.

The process would repeat, different places, different sensations. All love. :)

And I'd wake up, feeling disappointed.

xxx

Last night I saw you in my dreams, now I can't wait to go to sleep.

xox, trish

Tagged by Ger and Amy :)

2008-03-14T19:19:00.002+08:00

1. Real name > Trisha Teo Tsuihsia. I'll bet you can't pronounce the last one.

2. Nickname > They call me, sha. dodol. panik. shisha. long crunchy prawn. bangla. I call me, miss awesome like awesome.

3. Married > Nope.

4. Male or Female > Female.

5. Highschool > SMK Bandar Baru Seri Petaling.

6. College > Uhm, we'll see.

7. Short or long hair > Kinda in between. Not short, not long. Very out of shape.

8. Are you a health freak > Not really, no.

9. Height > 5 feet 4.

10. Do you have a crush on someone > Yup :)

11. Do you like yourself > Sometimes.

12. Piercings > 2 on each ear.

13. Righty or Lefty > Righty.

FIRSTS

14. First surgery > Never.

15. First piercing(s) > When I was 5 or 6 I think.

16. First person you see in the morning > Mummy.

17. First award > Ooh, uhm kindergarten?

18. First sport you joined > Running.

19. First pet > 15 dogs. yes Teva, 15!

20. First vacation > I don't remember.

21. First concert > Errr. I think it was Jay Chou. Haha.

22. First crush > Primary 4?

CURRENTLY

23. Eating > Nothing

24. Drinking > Nothing

25. I'm about to > wander around the house.

YOUR FUTURE

26. Want kids > Definitely.

27. Want to get married > No. I dunno. I guess not.
28. Careers in mind > Movie star! Anchorwoman, show host, model, writer, magazine editor.

WHICH ONE IS BETTER

29. Lips or eyes > Eyes.

30. Hugs or kisses > Hugs.

31. Shorter or taller > Taller.

32. Romantic or spontaneous > Spontaneously Romantic. But not too cheesy. I don't like cheesy.

33. Sensitive or loud > Loud!

34. Trouble maker or hesitant > Trouble maker.

HAVE YOU EVER

35. Kissed a stranger > Yep.

36. Drank bubbles > Eh, ew.

37. Lost glasses/contacts > Nope.

38. Ran away from home > Nope.

39. Liked someone younger > Yeah.

40. Liked someone older > Yeah.

41. Broken someone's heart > Yeah.

42. Been arrested > Nope.

43. Cried when someone died > Yeah.

44. Liked a friend > Yeah.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

45. Yourself > Sometimes. Not now. But sometimes.

46. Miracles > Yeah.

47. Heaven > Yeah.

48. Santa claus > Only when I watch Christmas movies.

49. Angels > Yup :)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY ~*

50. Is there one person you want to be with right now > Yeah :(
51. Do you believe in God > Yup.

52. Tag 5 people > Teva, Tyng, Bernice, Phoebe, Spellman.

xox, trish

I feel

2008-03-13T21:55:00.003+08:00

And I was right. It is worse.

I studied today, History. Just to please my parents. I wondered how we could've gone through the day and it scared me. I hate school. I hate home. I don't know where to go. I can't avoid anything. I guess I'm stuck.

xxx

You're asking me will my love grow?
I don't know, I don't know.
You stick around now it may show,
I don't know, I don't know.

Something in the way he knows,
And all I have to do is think of him,
Something in the things he shows me
I don't wanna leave him now,
You know I believe him now.

xox, trish

And it all comes back down to me.

2008-03-12T18:30:00.002+08:00

I fell asleep at 4 30 in the morning. Yay me! For someone who hasn't had a proper nap let alone sleep in days, this is a very wonderful thing.

I had the oddest most pleasing dream :)

It was cold and windy, the sky was dark. It looked as if it was about to rain. My hair was tied up as usual and I was talking to Teva, Tyng, Mymy and Amalina in the school canteen.

WaiChoong. (yes, that crazy psycho that hugs teachers, loves Roshini and saying 'pukimak'.)

He comes up behind me and he pokes at my hair. Teva starts laughing and she mouths the words 'WaiChoong'. I raise an eyebrow, turn around and say..
"Please don't do that."

He walks away, seconds later, he comes back and does the same thing.
I try to keep my cool. Politely, I ask him to leave me alone.
He leaves and returns again, doing the same thing as before. I get angry. I tell him to step off. Just like before, he leave, and returns.

This time, he pulls off my hair-tie. Throws in on the ground and starts ruffling my hair up. I turn around and smack him hard on the face with the back of my hand. My face is flushed from the anger.

"Trishaaaaa!" I hear someone yell.

And I wake up.

I got to smack WaiChooonnggg. WoooooohhH!

xxx

I went over to Teva's place. We ate and studied. She taught me how to do AddMaths. Logarithms wheeee! We tried Differentiation but I failed miserably at that. We'll try again some other time I guess.

Rohan cried today, that's coz he was scared of Teva's mom. So adorabubble.

Teva said : "Name one other indian friend thats a girl, that you have."

After some serious thought, I realized. I don't have anymore. Unless you fit the bill! Please let me know.

Now I'm home!

xxx

You know how people are so negative sometimes? It's not because we think Emo is cool. It's not because we want to seem like our life sucks. No. It's not like that at all. It's because we're afraid of being let down again and again. At some point, we get so disappointed after thinking positive, it breaks us from the inside out. So we lower our expectations, just so it would hurt much less when we're disappointed again.

Look at today. Today was the first time I slept in days and it was the first time I woke up without a migraine. Today was the first time in months I felt happy. I was looking forward to having that the next day and the next and the next and the next. But I came home to bad news. Tonight, is gonna be so much worse than before. Everyday after tonight, is gonna be so much worse than before.

"..I sent him away, feeling confident I'll be okay. No, not after today, I'll need him here with me again.."

xox, trish

Just in case..

2008-03-12T00:20:00.002+08:00

..you thought I was pathetic. Here's proof that I'm not.

So what if I'm a little disconnected from the world lately? I still find the energy and the inspiration to do stuff. So, it's not studying and so I'm not being very productive. I know I'm constantly sitting on my ass or lying there like someone in a coma.

I still did this.

Basically, this is all I've been able to do. I can't even use it to do Editorial work, so it's not done. I've been doing this.

Anyway, my afternoon was spent watching tv and eating porridge. Then I was writhing and screaming on the floor. I'm not insane. Jeremy was attacking me. He grabbed my neck and my shoulders. My friends would know, thats where I'm most sensitive. He poked and prodded and tickled.

I was in fact yelling, asking him whyy he was being so irritating.

His answer : "I need you to feel."

Like, what the heck kinda answer is that?! Stupid head.

Then I was lying on the couch face down. Julian sits on me. Yeah, that fatty sits one me! Then he totally lies down on me. As expected, I couldn't breathe.

After that, he pushes me to the floor. It was supposed to be funny. We were laughing and stuff but when I fell, I got surprisingly angry. Very angry in fact. So I got back up and attacked him. That, turned into a fight. Julian is way stronger, no doubt about it. So I lost. Then I kicked him. HEEEEEEE!

The look on his face was like :O

Then he went all hulkrage on me. So I ran away like the little chicken I am.

Gramps is here, again. He's being very nice which is very odd. He even gave me money.
Eeeh, so weird.

xox, trish

Rose Hugging Idiot

2008-03-11T01:45:00.002+08:00

Some guy said : "Roses looks pretty! But you must be able to bear the thorns if you wish to hug it!"
Honestly, dude.
Are you trying to be funny?

Who the heck, hugs roses!? Weirdo.

xxx

So anyway, I'm blogging coz I have nothing to do and I can't sleep. So I'm gonna emo for a bit, if you don't mind. But then again, I don't care if you mind.

I wish, I was scared of SPM. Scared enough to get up and be motivated. I wish I was interested enough in being alive, it's not me, I'm different lately. I know it sounds pretty stupid, but I don't know how else to put it. I'm just not interested in going out and being sunshine. I wish I cared more about other people, instead of being the self-centered little bitch I am. I wish I had a specialty. Something I'm better at, something that makes people remember me and say, "She's the girl for this.". I wish I had nicer legs. I wish my parents were proud of me. I wish I had special powers. I wish he could've loved me instead. Not her.

And while I was wishing for all those things, there are people with no jobs. Countries that are starving, people dying, global warming. While I was being insensitive, the world suffered more pain than I could ever imagine.

I wish I was positive.

I wish my friends were here.
I wish I wasn't alone right now.

Why did Pandora's box ever open up?

xox, trish

No more than usual

2008-03-10T20:21:00.002+08:00

I went out today! Yes, I mustered enough energy to get my fat ass off the cold hard floor to go out with my parents. Daph came along since I'm your everyday panikballs.

We went to the Valley.
Watched a movie,
Called 10000 b.c.

I'm rhyminggg~

Ate at BurgerKiiiing, as usual. Went shopping, as usual. We bought flip flops, as usual, they matched. Yes I knoww, we're more obsessed than a pair of newly coupled faggots. I got new sunnies :) so did Daph :)

I spent a lot of money today. :(

Btw, 10000 b.c is a good movie. I found it profoundly hilarious and I kept saying stupid things in between lines. Now me and Daph are spitting on each other [inside joke].

After MV, we went to Endah Parade. Had fries at McD, as usual. Bubble Tea, then home.

My face hurts. I wonder whyyyyy..

Dinner sucked, now I'm here, again. This is being pathetic at its best.

xox, trish

Cold in his arms.

2008-03-09T22:52:00.005+08:00

It's so odd, I can never sleep lately. I have not slept in 2 days, and in that 2 days, I've been sitting on the cold hard floor, in front of the bright laptop screen. Eunice says my eyes are bloodshot. I say, my ass hurts.

I'm officially the clumsiest person I know. It's what people accident prone.

I was chopping onions yesterday, the knife was recently sharpened. I cut my finger. The pain came as a shock to me so I accidentally dropped the knife, in the process of dropping it, I cut my palm. As if it wasn't enough, the knife..

..it fell on my foot.

So I told Teva.

An expected reaction : "OMG How the heck you do this la?"

The reaction I got : "Eeyer! Got blood in the food ar?!"

I didn't bother telling my family. They have a tendency to think I'm suicidal. I honestly wouldn't blame them.

But before all that happened, there was yelling outside my house. Annabel and all her kawans showed up and did a formation outside my house. Bunch of weirdoes. Haha. Sonia took a movie and they went off. They're lucky they came at that time. I would've been too bloody to meet them if they came any later.

Ugh, I have nothing to say.

Today was just..BLUERGH.

xox, trish

Paris '08 Part 2

2008-03-09T21:49:00.002+08:00

xox, trish

Because I feel like it

2008-03-08T16:24:00.004+08:00

It's so poetic.

I found you a dog Teva. Isn't is gorgeousss?

I need to take more pics with Tyng, Amalina and Mymy.

xox, trish

Keep 'em hanging on, but never moving on.

2008-03-08T11:57:00.006+08:00

Well, there's a million other girls who do it just like you,
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who they want and what they like,
It's easy if you do it right.
Well, I refuse I refuse I refuse.

-Paramore, Misery Business-

Bitch, I'm not like you.
Definitely not like you at all.

xox, trish

Part 2

2008-03-08T01:17:00.004+08:00

Remember when I told you there was a complication to my life? Well, yeah. I wasn't kidding.
Sure I had the life any girl would want. There were no rules, no boundaries, nothing to hold me back. I had love and I loved back.

Here's the catch, I lied about the fact that my parents were having the vacation of their lives in Cabo. I pretty much drove them away.

...

"He will leave you one day! You can't expect something so fragile to go on forever!"
"I know what I'm doing, just step off."
"Your attitude is out of hand, your life is a game of Risk, do you seriously expect me just to stand by and watch you fall to pieces!?"

She was angry, hysterical in fact. My head was thumping and my fists were balled up tightly. My jaw was clenched and rigid. My expression stone hard.

"I just wanna make sure you'll be okay."
"Mom, take him away and I won't be okay! Take him away and my life would most probably be over! Don't you understand that!?"

Silence..
Finally,

"No, I don't understand that. I don't respect that decision, and if that's what you choose, I think I'll leave your life alone. I'll be gone by morning."
"Mom, he's a boy. You're my mother!"
"You seem to value him a lot more."
"You don't understand! Why do you hate him so much!?"
"NO! I don't. I know he loves you and I can see that but you're making it seem like your life is over without him. It shows how weak you are, and it shows that you're gonna be fine doing just the way you are. It certainly shows how average you are."

I was getting angrier by the second. Average was definitely something I was not. But she didn't know and I couldn't say.

"I never raised any of my children to be that way! I never raised you to be weak. I expected much more from you."

It was the end of our conversation. I didn't have anything more to say to my mother. She was too disappointed in me to listen.

...

So, a petty fight and a relationship with a mother is ruined? It's deeper than that. To know, we'll have to go way back.

xox, trish

The beginning..

2008-03-07T19:06:00.002+08:00

So, today..
is Friday.

I was late for school today. Yeah, I arrived at school at 8 a.m when school supposedly begins at 7.15 a.m.

Anyway, I was doing what I do best when I arrived. I got up to class and saw that the tables were all separated due to some piano exam. I picked a seat behind Teva, and went on doing what I did best.
I could barely speak.

Pn. Chew, left me alone! Yeah, she actually wasn't mean today. In fact she didn't say anything to me. Which made me feel better gradually. I need a name for a boy in a story. Tyng and Daph randomly named him Ben. ~_~ So right now, where we're stopped, I'm dancing with 'Ben' ~_~

BM teacher gave us shitloads of work, which is not good. Ms Dew was pretty upset today. She kinda nagged at us about not being in class a lot and how we don't have our priorities straight. We arranged the tables and I swept the floor! Then Add Math, more work. Sigggh.

I fell down AGAIN today.
Steps, woozy, I'm on the floor.

Titus was so worried looking and caring. I didn't say a word, obviously too embarrassed to. Plus I was wounded. My hand was bleeding from scraping the wall. Daphne stood there in shock.

It's so funny. I fall down and she gasps and stands there. It's like she KNOWS there's something wrong with me.

I ate a lot today. Spellman said "OMG" when he saw what I was eating. JoeeeeyCheong on the other hand totally ignored me thankyuverymuch.
Kuan Sing was like "Waaaaaah you eat so much ar?"

Then I was talking about giving viagra to cows.

Yup!

I realized I got my order of things all wrong.

Anyway, after school, Kuan Sing was in a horrible mood and he looked upset but since I'm keeping my distance, HORRR, I won't bother.

Then we went to the mamak. The fella started talking to Teva in Tamil and she was like "ARRR, err, no."

Hahahahahaha.

I helped paint the Bendahara flag. I'm a nice person. Yay me!

xox, trish

This is my story

2008-03-06T19:29:00.003+08:00

"Believe it or not, your attitude towards life is making you miserable!"

I stared up at him with a look of disdain. He was glaring down at me with that 'i'll-smite-you" glint in his eye.

"You're going to make yourself presentable and you're going to meet those people. You're gonna get your life back on track."

I never took my eyes off him. Crap, he's serious. It's buck up or die.
I pulled myself together and rose lazily from the couch I was sitting on. My head filled with thoughts of pouring vats of candle wax on him.

I dragged my feet lazily up the steps.
"Move it," said a stern voice behind me.

Geez, was he irritating.

...

My name, is Trish. I'm 18 years old and I have a brother and a sister. Terrence and Tori. Yes, my parents seem to have developed a love for the letter T.
Terrence is 27, he's got his own place, Tori is 22, she's away doing her final year at a prestigious university far far away god knows where. But I couldn't care less.
My parents are in Cabo, enjoying the vacation of their lives, leaving me alone.

Well, no, I'm not alone.
He's with me.
He's my boyfriend, we've been together for about a year and a half. I won't tell you his name because that's none of your business. But I'll tell you, he's what makes me want to wake up in the morning. With his perfectly angled features and dazzling smile, beautiful brown eyes and fair skin, I wonder how anyone can stop themselves from falling head over heels in love with him. He could be an angel or a mirage, maybe a figment of my imagination. But he's definitely the only person I ever want to be with.

That would probably explain why I listened to him and did exactly as he told me. He kinda has that effect on me. He practically has that effect on everybody. He's naturally persuasive and being the insufferable, stubborn little girl that I am. That bit about him makes him work even more for me.

So, you're probably wondering..
What's a boy like him doing with someone as lifeless as me? Hah, I wonder that everyday. Funny, he loves me. He never fails to remind me and he's always coming to the rescue. It could be a papercut, a nosebleed, a car crash or me falling off a cliff. He'd be there in a flash with worried look and the ambulance. He overreacts a little bit. But I'm the one thats accident prone. I should be grateful to have him, and trust me. I am. I can't help but feel he spends more time trying to keep me alive than doing the things he loves though. I've mentioned it before, he only said he loves keeping me alive. I think it's a hobby.

:)

I was back in the lounge, designer clad and extremely uncomfortable. He looked at me and smiled to himself.

"Wow", he whispered
"I'm obviously overdressed", I grumbled.
"You look absolutely beautiful. I love you for this."

I simply couldn't help but smile.

...

I know, I know, everything in my life is perfect. No parents, no worries and the best boyfriend ever. Trust me, this is just the beginning of my story. It's more complicated than you think it is.

xox, trish

Paris '08

2008-03-05T23:11:00.010+08:00

I like this. :)

TchiTchi, Teotim, Anais

Wooooo!

More soon. The pics from my camera aren't in this pc.

xox, trish